Monday, August 30, 2010
Home Again
Seems like every time I fly these days I get stuck sitting next to the person that is coughing. This time was no exception and now I am feeling miserable myself. I had some good ideas for writing so maybe if this cough goes away soon I will feel like making it happen.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Traveling
I'm off to the airport (one place I really dislike) to make the flight across the country to visit some family (one place I do like). I'm sure it will be great fun and a joyful experience (once I get off the plane) and I am looking forward to being in the Texas warmth (as long as the air conditioner is working). Being in the rural environment will do me good (as long as I don't drink the water). So everyone talk amongst yourselves for a few days (or yourself if you prefer inner dialog) and I shall return on Saturday filled with inspiration (likely a few other things as well) and will write something that has somewhat of an entertainment value (or maybe another rant) when I return.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I Love Weekends
I love when the weekend finally gets here, especially after a week like the last couple I have had. Not that the last 2 weeks have been overly challenging, but I find myself ready to disengage the brain for a bit. I used to make big plans for all the things I wanted to get done on the weekends but I am accepting that it is a much better plan to see what I feel like doing before I commit to everything. This weekend I do have to prepare for some travel next week but I have left a large window of time open to see a movie or 3. Perhaps this will be my weekend to look for some updates to my wardrobe. I have already stopped by the auto dealer to see when the new model of hybrid will be available for me to drive (another month, makes me sad). Most importantly this weekend I will seek out a new place to eat.
When I worked as a musician, weekends were usually very busy with setting up for a gig, playing, tearing down after a show then trying to find a late night snack. I did really enjoy the opportunity to continuously meet new people and discuss some really random topics with people who had consumed a little more than they should have. On a good night, when all the musicians were in sync with each other the experience was like no other feeling. The satisfaction that comes from making contact with a room full of people is something that has no substitute. Most nights, however, there seemed to be a rift between at least 2 players and made the music project the frustration onto everyone leaving an uncomfortable feeling for me.
Having attempted several forms of creativity I have found that the immediate feedback that one gets with music is near impossible. I believe that most art is a language that is used to explain the feelings that words cannot. I find expressing myself with words to be a serious challenge these days, a challenge worth the effort. I learned how share my emotions through music and a few other ways but putting them into written form is something I must try to do. The difficulty for me with written communication is I am not sure how I am connecting with the reader most of the time. If I could see the readers faces while they read I would feel so much more comfortable with how I express myself.
When I write I try to form each sentence the same way I would a phrase of music in the past. I sometimes write a sentence as many ways as I can think of before deciding which version to use. Improvisation is not something I can do with writing as I could with music, there is much more permanence with writing. Sometimes I wish I had spent more time expanding my vocabulary so that I could have more options in trying to achieve the desired rhythm for a sentence. Choosing the right words and making the right phrases can really be a stretch for me sometimes. Someday's I wish I could substitute a few notes in place of words just because it would make more sense to me.
Setting the mood for the delivery of the communication is something I am spending a lot of time thinking about. It has been said that T-Bone Walker to turn any time of day into 3am with his music. I occasionally read something that draws me into it in this way and I am working on this ability more every time I write. How nice it would be if I could show you the world as seen through my eyes and to hear things as I do through the use of words. I am quite sure that this will plague me in the same way as trying to paint a picture with sounds has. The quest to be understood is one without end.
This weekend, I will do many of the things on my list of "have to get done" stuff but my mind will be working on how to better express my thoughts. I will also be spending a fair amount of time playing with Spike so maybe when I sit down to type he won't be so tempted to walk across my keyboard. It's time to get the weekend started.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Fear of Wet Feet
After a weekend of struggling to organize some thoughts, I arrive on Sunday evening gazing at the vast emptiness where my thoughts should be. I would like to say that I spent the weekend in self-reflection but that would be less than true. I have spent my weekend avoiding much of what I typically enjoy, my thoughts. My own selfishness to not expend the energy to follow the dashing rabbit has caused me to let slip by the opportunity to seek out the adventure that lies between my ears. In my own defense, however, it was a week which had knocked me from my center and everything appeared to be on the other side of the pane.
As the defense rest, the self-prosecution stands up to address the jury by pointing out there is an extremely high probability that I did not want to swim in the swamp for fear of finding those things I choose to ignore. This suggestion is one for which I have no defense, I can only accept that yes there are some things I choose not to look at for now and concede that these things will most likely still exist upon my return for them. Granted they will have morphed into variations of their current state but that means that they will appear more defined and easier to translate to the non-resident thinkers.
Being the emperor of an Impirical empire brings a heavy burden. The cranial universe without limits might be too wide to swim. Standing at the edge staring at my reflection, I pause....
Saturday, August 14, 2010
For Friends of Felines
I happened across this bit of information earlier and found it to be interesting that I am not the only person to name a cat Spike. If my Spike lives as long he might out live me by a bit.
From Dr. Jon email (he is a vet that writes a newsletter):
Who was the oldest living cat and how old was he?
According to the Guinness Book of Records, the oldest cat on record was a domestic longhair by the name of Spike. Until 2001 when he passed away at the ripe old age of 31 (that's 140 in human years, but who's counting?), Spike was still happily chasing spiders and enjoying life. Spike lived in Dorset, England with his owner, an aromatherapist named Mo Elkington. (Another British cat was recorded to be 34 years old when it died in 1957, but it was not documented by Guinness.)
According to the Guinness Book of Records, the oldest cat on record was a domestic longhair by the name of Spike. Until 2001 when he passed away at the ripe old age of 31 (that's 140 in human years, but who's counting?), Spike was still happily chasing spiders and enjoying life. Spike lived in Dorset, England with his owner, an aromatherapist named Mo Elkington. (Another British cat was recorded to be 34 years old when it died in 1957, but it was not documented by Guinness.)
Monday, August 9, 2010
Starting the Week
Spike is my wonderfully huge cat that keeps me amused more than not. We had a little excitement in the middle of the night by way of a flying visitor making a route between the living room and the bedroom. I'm really not sure how the tiny little bat managed to get in but it put both of us on high alert status for a bit. I got an opportunity to revive the well honed skills I acquired as a youth in the area of stick ball and managed to knock the bat silly with a broom handle. The little rodent of wing was almost 2 inches head to tail but had a wing span of 7 or 8 inches. After his mid-air collision with the handle of my broom the bat lay curled up in a fetal position making a clicking noise I would assume to be like a policeman under fire calling for backup. I found something to be able to pick up the disoriented pilot and to escort him to a location outside of my domain.
After about an hour I managed to calm myself enough to resume my much needed slumber. Spike on the hand spent the rest of the night with the terror alert level being a deep, dark red. When I got up to do my normal morning routine, he did not immediately join me in the kitchen. I think he decided to sleep in a bit. He eventually stumbled into the kitchen looking extremely groggy and sat down and looked up at me. He then decided to perform one of my favorite songs from the cat opera Tommy Cat.
Feed me. Pet me. Touch me. Feed me-e-ee-ee.
Feed me. Pet me-e-ee. Touch me. Feed me.
How can you have a bad week when you get something like that first thing on a Monday morning. I hope everyone has a great day.
Sunday Nights
Sunday nights present a challenge to me. After having had some time over the weekend to allow my mind to shift into self directed, free flowing mode I find Sunday nights difficult to turn it off so I can start out a week feeling prepared. It's not quite to the level of mourning but I do resist having to shift my thinking processes back to the typical problem solving, logical, and professional grove for a few days. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy the type of work I do but hoping from right brain to left brain to right brain at the frequency I have been trying to maintain is exhausting. So much so that I have decided to give the mosh pit of metaphors a bit of a break.
I am really enjoying the book by David Foster Wallace that I am reading A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again. His writing has helped me recognize when I am being abusive to my reader and even when I attempt to high jack the readers sensibility by creating an environment that delivers the reader to a place of self-confliction. I have also found that recognizing when these events are taking place puts the writer into the odd position of deciding whether to exploit the opportunity to molest the synapses of the reader without consent or to handle the situation with flowers and a box of chocolates.
Now for some fun ideas.
Wouldn't it be great if your pet could talk? Your best friend could express their unconditional love and admiration for you. The dog or cat could tell you when there is something wrong instead of you having to deduce through odd behaviors that it is time for a trip to the vet. Let us also look at another possibility that arises with the thought of a talking pet. Let's just think for a minute if your pet was the hit of the party you are having at your house. Everyone is amazed with the pet that talks and your pet begins doing its stand up routine and enjoying all of the attention. In the heat of the moment, you pet decides it would really be funny to tell something about you that it finds funny. This will require some reflecting on what kinds of activities your pet might be witness to. Just a suggestion that your pet knows things you wouldn't tell another person under any conditions. Maybe it's best they don't talk.
I can't imagine what my life would be like sans a furry companion. Pets are able to communicate with their owner in an empathetic way that is rare to achieve with another person. Cats are wonderfully affectionate especially if there is a potential for a treat. Dogs have a distinct advantage because it is extremely rare for your dog to judge your actions. Dogs are typically content just to see that look of approval in your eyes. I suppose a gold fish might not develop a bond with its owner but they can still provide a calming effect for the person that spends 20 minutes watching them swim. What a relationship we have developed with our companion species.
My good night wish is for all who read this to have a fabulous week. Thanks for stopping by.
I am really enjoying the book by David Foster Wallace that I am reading A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again. His writing has helped me recognize when I am being abusive to my reader and even when I attempt to high jack the readers sensibility by creating an environment that delivers the reader to a place of self-confliction. I have also found that recognizing when these events are taking place puts the writer into the odd position of deciding whether to exploit the opportunity to molest the synapses of the reader without consent or to handle the situation with flowers and a box of chocolates.
Now for some fun ideas.
Wouldn't it be great if your pet could talk? Your best friend could express their unconditional love and admiration for you. The dog or cat could tell you when there is something wrong instead of you having to deduce through odd behaviors that it is time for a trip to the vet. Let us also look at another possibility that arises with the thought of a talking pet. Let's just think for a minute if your pet was the hit of the party you are having at your house. Everyone is amazed with the pet that talks and your pet begins doing its stand up routine and enjoying all of the attention. In the heat of the moment, you pet decides it would really be funny to tell something about you that it finds funny. This will require some reflecting on what kinds of activities your pet might be witness to. Just a suggestion that your pet knows things you wouldn't tell another person under any conditions. Maybe it's best they don't talk.
I can't imagine what my life would be like sans a furry companion. Pets are able to communicate with their owner in an empathetic way that is rare to achieve with another person. Cats are wonderfully affectionate especially if there is a potential for a treat. Dogs have a distinct advantage because it is extremely rare for your dog to judge your actions. Dogs are typically content just to see that look of approval in your eyes. I suppose a gold fish might not develop a bond with its owner but they can still provide a calming effect for the person that spends 20 minutes watching them swim. What a relationship we have developed with our companion species.
My good night wish is for all who read this to have a fabulous week. Thanks for stopping by.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Hostage Negotiations
I make frequent jest on the topic of being held hostage by my feline companion but this is usually a metaphor for the reality that I am the hostage of my own taking. My self-imposed restraints stem from the burdens of conformity, conformity to a society that does a little for me as I do for it. I have never been one to feel the need to be part of the masses who blindly follow the person ahead of them, believing the whole time that there is an experienced guide at the front of the pack that is leading everyone to a place of comfort. I lean toward questioning everything that is presented as fact and considering that which is not. The path to freedom, the greater personal freedom, has yet to be taken. My prison is my thoughts and feelings of obligation to participate in the social structure by which I am surrounded. My freedom is in knowing that I do not have to participate in that which I do not to enhance my life.
For a large part of my life, I assumed that I needed to pattern my life in much the same way as those around me had chosen to do. Having been trained as an observer from an early age, I am usually never the first person to dive into the waters of undetermined depth. This has been well suited for me as I have had the opportunity to assist a few other who have found themselves stuck, head first, in the mud that dwells just below the surface. I was under the spell of the force applied by assuming I was surrounded by peers and after assisting one to pull their head out of the mud, I would then join them in the shallow pool all in the guise of feeling like part of a community. As our galactic real estate has made numerous completions of it's route, I find that I am less inclined to join in the mud bath with my fellow swine.
I have successfully negotiated my release from the prisons of my past and have chosen a path which allows me to be my own guide through the uncharted region that lies ahead. I no longer feel the obligation to join an activity for the soul purpose of not holding myself in solitary confinement. I am now able to move along at my own pace and investigate all available options before deciding which way to progress. It has been such a liberating experience to ignore the Sheppard and move away from the flock. The opportunities for learning through discovery pays dividends exponential in comparison to the lessons repeated by another that might not have first person reference either.
My freedom to discover all which surrounds me has lead me out of the bondage of the desire to belong. It has also lead me to the realization that I have only made it from the cell block to the yard of the incarceration of my mind. I have discovered that I am still restrained by the limitations imposed by my analytical nature and the inability to take a path on a whim or by faith in possibility that I could find my way through a random algorithms. I find my current confinement to be binding by the same freedoms I had negotiated for when I released myself from the feelings of fitting in. I now find that this dog is just on a longer leash when all he wants is to sit on the porch at this stage in his life.
For a large part of my life, I assumed that I needed to pattern my life in much the same way as those around me had chosen to do. Having been trained as an observer from an early age, I am usually never the first person to dive into the waters of undetermined depth. This has been well suited for me as I have had the opportunity to assist a few other who have found themselves stuck, head first, in the mud that dwells just below the surface. I was under the spell of the force applied by assuming I was surrounded by peers and after assisting one to pull their head out of the mud, I would then join them in the shallow pool all in the guise of feeling like part of a community. As our galactic real estate has made numerous completions of it's route, I find that I am less inclined to join in the mud bath with my fellow swine.
I have successfully negotiated my release from the prisons of my past and have chosen a path which allows me to be my own guide through the uncharted region that lies ahead. I no longer feel the obligation to join an activity for the soul purpose of not holding myself in solitary confinement. I am now able to move along at my own pace and investigate all available options before deciding which way to progress. It has been such a liberating experience to ignore the Sheppard and move away from the flock. The opportunities for learning through discovery pays dividends exponential in comparison to the lessons repeated by another that might not have first person reference either.
My freedom to discover all which surrounds me has lead me out of the bondage of the desire to belong. It has also lead me to the realization that I have only made it from the cell block to the yard of the incarceration of my mind. I have discovered that I am still restrained by the limitations imposed by my analytical nature and the inability to take a path on a whim or by faith in possibility that I could find my way through a random algorithms. I find my current confinement to be binding by the same freedoms I had negotiated for when I released myself from the feelings of fitting in. I now find that this dog is just on a longer leash when all he wants is to sit on the porch at this stage in his life.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Extreme Until I Scream
The absurd appetite people have for various forms of stimulus is growing beyond the ability of a single form of media to produce enough adrenalin to satisfy these cravings. At the point that a 3rd generation of beings that have been raised by the bi-sensual babysitter we know as a television, even the allures of the internet are waning in the ability to provide the fix for mindless stimuli. Everything is now extreme as a mandate from the endorphin junkies that spend endless hour looking for additional ways to overload their ability to process information collected through every nerve receptor in their bodies. All industries are gravitating in the direction to acquire a piece of this market that is so overwhelmingly lucrative these days.
Desensitization is the process of increasing a persons tolerance for accepting various forms of stimuli. Like the professional wrestler that gets hit in the forehead with a steel chair, they already know what it is going to feel like so they do not have the initial shock associated with this impact as a person who has not. Even a roller coaster loses it's attraction after 50 or so times of testing ones ability to contain their lunch while trying to achieve the feeling of near demise. The entertainment industry has accepted the quest to push the media that produces higher levels of sensory input many years ago exploiting the likes of Hitchcock and the series of Bond movies. As a result of the profitability of continual testing the audience for incontinence was acknowledged, the refreshment providers decided they needed a piece of this action.
Soft drink moguls began to invest heavily into various forms of entertainment from movies to amusement parks. If it will raise your heart rate, Coca Cola and Pepsi will definitely be making an investment of some kind if legally possible. The suggestion to those seeking excitement that caffeine will enhance the overall experience by stimulating the users neural receptors so they can absorb even more of the stimulating signals being fed into the cranial head quarters for the central nervous system. Mixing in a large amount of purified carbohydrates in the form of candy and combining that with an intense flavoring propels the addict into a physical and mental state nearing ecstasy and euphoria. Continually increasing the quantities of the pungent and sweetness contained in each morsel of artificial gratification has caused the refreshment industries to invest heavily into new ways chemically shock your system into a mild panic.
This has spawned a new level of intensity in products available to the consumer to enhance the sensations and stimulations. Candy makes began sneaking caffeine into some items that have enough flavor to mask the bitterness of the drug. Beverage manufacturers began to experiment with alternative medicine additives or herbal supplements as the peddlers of drugs yet to be outlawed refer to them to enrich the level or arousal delivered from the consumption of their products. Even the natural products like coffee are being altered to include some type of booster with the example provided by Revv. How much can a persons body stand to be stimulated before their health and well being come into question?
The rise in obesity related diseases is overwhelming. Diabetes is going to impact you, if not directly, or the person next to you within the next few years. High cholesterol is also the result of consuming products that provide that immediate reward for you having slid through another day of work with minimal effort. The barrage of advertising that is geared to inflate your declining self-perception while suggesting that if you consume more of a specific product that you will achieve and unnatural degree of fabulousness that you could never reach without it. The visual evidence they provide would suggest that you could be the singular perpetuator of your species elevating you to the status of a minor deity in the very least. In truth, these suggestions will lead to morbid levels of reclusiveness and reduce ones capacity to reproduce additional consumers for the corporations which control your desires to exchange a portion of your wealth and health to sustain their profit margins.
The pharmaceutical companies have pitched their hats in to this arena as well. They have produced an overwhelming amount of pills and treatments to counteract the results of introducing all of the legally available narcotic like substances sold to those seeking the extreme experience. They have invented pills to artistically compensate for and modify your moods and behaviors so that you can continue to participate in the consumption all these indulgences. They have even resorted to producing medicines to restore ones desires and abilities to perform the acts of procreation because of the damage done by the "Whitman's Sampler" of chemicals that are introduced into your system with every gram consumed. This is a never ending cycle of wealth generation potential with the mere cost of the lives of a few who do not have the ability to resist the power of suggestion and the temptation to feel superior to the rest for only a brief period before crashing into a depressive fetal position.
The music has grown louder, faster, increasingly dissonant and increasingly syncopated to keep pace with the other forms of media to be indulged without regard to consequences. Extremities in expression have ebbed into all forms of art and have infiltrated nearly every form of sport that is of any interest to the living. Those who deliver these forms of spectacle have been force into utilizing substances that have been banned to the level of a felony in order to provide the highest level of performance and creativity. This leads into a topic that is best left for a later release of embittered sentiment about the disadvantages of being human. These are unparalleled attempts at achieving a deityship for reasons that transcend any form of intellectual reasoning ability from this dimension.
The moving picture market has been on a revival to retain it's lead in delivering edge of the seat experiences for the viewers. Through the evolution of the action flick the use of stunt crews has given way to animation and trickery to make the view believe they are seeing something that no normal creature in our universe could possibly do. The simulation of destruction of major cities, methods of transportation and even to the extreme of exploding bodies of what appears to be a person. The aural experience has also been enhance to make the spectator feel immersed in the sounds of the action simulating an additional dimension of stimulus into the presentation. With the need to continue the expansion of dimensions the mystical trickery of the visual cortex is injected by increase the rate at which the pictures are projected into your viewing zone eventually evolving into the ocular miracle of simulating the dimension of depth into the picture through stereography.
There are limits involved in these interactions between the pusher and user. These limits are not on the part of the provider but the thrill seeking purveyor of higher levels of stimulation. How much can a person absorb before they reach a condition of unrepairability likened to and egg of infamy and legend? This is the question that all of us who take every opportunity to indulge should ask ourselves. We cannot count on the parental supervision of those who make their livelihood from providing for us. My personal suggestion is to rush to determining your personal limits so that you can be prepared to dive in to the deep end so that you do not require a report from yours truly on how the experience was. To quote the master of extreme, Hunter S. Thompson, "Buy the ticket, ride the ride". I would like to add, make it extreme until I scream then do it again so I will be ready for a bigger portion of intensity before the next dose is delivered. Enjoy life while you have it.
Desensitization is the process of increasing a persons tolerance for accepting various forms of stimuli. Like the professional wrestler that gets hit in the forehead with a steel chair, they already know what it is going to feel like so they do not have the initial shock associated with this impact as a person who has not. Even a roller coaster loses it's attraction after 50 or so times of testing ones ability to contain their lunch while trying to achieve the feeling of near demise. The entertainment industry has accepted the quest to push the media that produces higher levels of sensory input many years ago exploiting the likes of Hitchcock and the series of Bond movies. As a result of the profitability of continual testing the audience for incontinence was acknowledged, the refreshment providers decided they needed a piece of this action.
Soft drink moguls began to invest heavily into various forms of entertainment from movies to amusement parks. If it will raise your heart rate, Coca Cola and Pepsi will definitely be making an investment of some kind if legally possible. The suggestion to those seeking excitement that caffeine will enhance the overall experience by stimulating the users neural receptors so they can absorb even more of the stimulating signals being fed into the cranial head quarters for the central nervous system. Mixing in a large amount of purified carbohydrates in the form of candy and combining that with an intense flavoring propels the addict into a physical and mental state nearing ecstasy and euphoria. Continually increasing the quantities of the pungent and sweetness contained in each morsel of artificial gratification has caused the refreshment industries to invest heavily into new ways chemically shock your system into a mild panic.
This has spawned a new level of intensity in products available to the consumer to enhance the sensations and stimulations. Candy makes began sneaking caffeine into some items that have enough flavor to mask the bitterness of the drug. Beverage manufacturers began to experiment with alternative medicine additives or herbal supplements as the peddlers of drugs yet to be outlawed refer to them to enrich the level or arousal delivered from the consumption of their products. Even the natural products like coffee are being altered to include some type of booster with the example provided by Revv. How much can a persons body stand to be stimulated before their health and well being come into question?
The rise in obesity related diseases is overwhelming. Diabetes is going to impact you, if not directly, or the person next to you within the next few years. High cholesterol is also the result of consuming products that provide that immediate reward for you having slid through another day of work with minimal effort. The barrage of advertising that is geared to inflate your declining self-perception while suggesting that if you consume more of a specific product that you will achieve and unnatural degree of fabulousness that you could never reach without it. The visual evidence they provide would suggest that you could be the singular perpetuator of your species elevating you to the status of a minor deity in the very least. In truth, these suggestions will lead to morbid levels of reclusiveness and reduce ones capacity to reproduce additional consumers for the corporations which control your desires to exchange a portion of your wealth and health to sustain their profit margins.
The pharmaceutical companies have pitched their hats in to this arena as well. They have produced an overwhelming amount of pills and treatments to counteract the results of introducing all of the legally available narcotic like substances sold to those seeking the extreme experience. They have invented pills to artistically compensate for and modify your moods and behaviors so that you can continue to participate in the consumption all these indulgences. They have even resorted to producing medicines to restore ones desires and abilities to perform the acts of procreation because of the damage done by the "Whitman's Sampler" of chemicals that are introduced into your system with every gram consumed. This is a never ending cycle of wealth generation potential with the mere cost of the lives of a few who do not have the ability to resist the power of suggestion and the temptation to feel superior to the rest for only a brief period before crashing into a depressive fetal position.
The music has grown louder, faster, increasingly dissonant and increasingly syncopated to keep pace with the other forms of media to be indulged without regard to consequences. Extremities in expression have ebbed into all forms of art and have infiltrated nearly every form of sport that is of any interest to the living. Those who deliver these forms of spectacle have been force into utilizing substances that have been banned to the level of a felony in order to provide the highest level of performance and creativity. This leads into a topic that is best left for a later release of embittered sentiment about the disadvantages of being human. These are unparalleled attempts at achieving a deityship for reasons that transcend any form of intellectual reasoning ability from this dimension.
The moving picture market has been on a revival to retain it's lead in delivering edge of the seat experiences for the viewers. Through the evolution of the action flick the use of stunt crews has given way to animation and trickery to make the view believe they are seeing something that no normal creature in our universe could possibly do. The simulation of destruction of major cities, methods of transportation and even to the extreme of exploding bodies of what appears to be a person. The aural experience has also been enhance to make the spectator feel immersed in the sounds of the action simulating an additional dimension of stimulus into the presentation. With the need to continue the expansion of dimensions the mystical trickery of the visual cortex is injected by increase the rate at which the pictures are projected into your viewing zone eventually evolving into the ocular miracle of simulating the dimension of depth into the picture through stereography.
There are limits involved in these interactions between the pusher and user. These limits are not on the part of the provider but the thrill seeking purveyor of higher levels of stimulation. How much can a person absorb before they reach a condition of unrepairability likened to and egg of infamy and legend? This is the question that all of us who take every opportunity to indulge should ask ourselves. We cannot count on the parental supervision of those who make their livelihood from providing for us. My personal suggestion is to rush to determining your personal limits so that you can be prepared to dive in to the deep end so that you do not require a report from yours truly on how the experience was. To quote the master of extreme, Hunter S. Thompson, "Buy the ticket, ride the ride". I would like to add, make it extreme until I scream then do it again so I will be ready for a bigger portion of intensity before the next dose is delivered. Enjoy life while you have it.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Bad Movies
Sometimes it feels as though life is imitating a really bad movie. The kind where the dialog drones on and on yet never yields anything moderately coherent. The kind where the budget was so low that it looks more like a blooper reel than and actual feature. The cast of unknowns, that should remain that way, exhibiting sub-tolerable behaviors and somewhere in the mix is the plot device of the screaming baby in a restaurant to distract you from the fact there really is no point to this scene. Lacking the ability to speed this cinematic crisis of boredom along, sometimes you just have to play along.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Quantum Conundrum
In the study of quantum mechanics and cosmology, there has been endless research into the subatomic particles that when combined together make everything that is. Einstein provided the origin of these studies with his theories on space and time along with idea that mass propelled at light speed transforms into energy of an enormous proportion. Many physicist have taken the work that began with Einstein and expanded on it to gain a greater understanding of how the universe have evolved. The study of the properties of particles and the reaction of these particles in relation to other particles.
Stephen Hawkings has provided some truly great advancements in cosmology with his work on black holes and the physics of a singularity. A singularity is theoretically created at the instant of an implosion of a star in which the mass becomes so great that gravity causes everything in the area to collapse in on this single point where the greatest mass is and this creates a black hole. Black holes are really difficult to detect but recent developments have allowed a little more than a mathematical expression to provide proof of these events. When a star goes supernova there are so many changes to a galaxy.
As the theories continue to evolve we learn about many aspects of matter and how it reacts when accelerated to near the speed of light then slammed into another bit of matter. This is how they have been able to begin to capture anti-matter, the stuff made famous by Star Trek as the fuel used to allow warp speed travel though space. This is done in a hadron collider which is a long tube with electro magnets that are used to accelerate these particles to as close to light speed as possible. Using extremely high speed cameras to photograph these collisions, physicist are able to gain a much greater understanding about the first few seconds after the big bang which created the universe we proudly call home.
In the study of the universe, there have been many places where the physics breaks down which suggest the existence of missing particles and energies that are currently being defined as dark matter and dark energy. These are believed to be the source of gravity throughout the universe. As our knowledge of gravity expands we discover that it is a force that pushes down against you rather than pulling you down. Dark matter is a particle of extreme mass. When the mass is converted to energy it gives enough energy to push everything in the universe farther away from it. This force causes particles to collect into planets and galaxies. The study of dark matter and dark energy has evolved into string theory which in turn evolves into membrane theory. Membrane or M theory suggest that all particles are interconnected by dark matter to create a membrane which moves in waves and this allows for the laws of quantum mechanics to hold together and allows the evolution of the universe to be tracked back all the way to the big bang and even before.
In the years of study into cosmology and quantum mechanics, there has been a lot learned about the matter and energy. The amount of potential energy that can be created when mixing matter and anti-matter is huge. Even that energy can still be trumped by the energy which comes from dark matter. I find all of these types of matter being converted to energy to be very powerful in understanding more about life in this universe. However, I would like to suggest that physicist have overlooked possibly the most powerful type of matter in the universe, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter is capable of deflecting just about anything in the opposite direction from which it comes. A simple experiment that you can perform yourself without having to have billions of dollars worth of technical equipment is to just use the words doesn't matter in a conversation, preferably one where someone is telling you something they consider of great importance.
I have been studying doesn't matter for a very long time. Doesn't matter does not create energy when it collides with something else but it does the exact opposite of create, it absorbs energy. Doesn't matter can bring a conversation that is moving at the maximum speed at which one can follow what the person talking is saying to a complete stop in an instant. I will make the bold statement that the greatest force in the universe comes from the release of doesn't matter. I will even go a little further to say that doesn't matter is able to solve all the unknowns in quantum mechanics. It just doesn't matter, problem solved.
Stephen Hawkings has provided some truly great advancements in cosmology with his work on black holes and the physics of a singularity. A singularity is theoretically created at the instant of an implosion of a star in which the mass becomes so great that gravity causes everything in the area to collapse in on this single point where the greatest mass is and this creates a black hole. Black holes are really difficult to detect but recent developments have allowed a little more than a mathematical expression to provide proof of these events. When a star goes supernova there are so many changes to a galaxy.
As the theories continue to evolve we learn about many aspects of matter and how it reacts when accelerated to near the speed of light then slammed into another bit of matter. This is how they have been able to begin to capture anti-matter, the stuff made famous by Star Trek as the fuel used to allow warp speed travel though space. This is done in a hadron collider which is a long tube with electro magnets that are used to accelerate these particles to as close to light speed as possible. Using extremely high speed cameras to photograph these collisions, physicist are able to gain a much greater understanding about the first few seconds after the big bang which created the universe we proudly call home.
In the study of the universe, there have been many places where the physics breaks down which suggest the existence of missing particles and energies that are currently being defined as dark matter and dark energy. These are believed to be the source of gravity throughout the universe. As our knowledge of gravity expands we discover that it is a force that pushes down against you rather than pulling you down. Dark matter is a particle of extreme mass. When the mass is converted to energy it gives enough energy to push everything in the universe farther away from it. This force causes particles to collect into planets and galaxies. The study of dark matter and dark energy has evolved into string theory which in turn evolves into membrane theory. Membrane or M theory suggest that all particles are interconnected by dark matter to create a membrane which moves in waves and this allows for the laws of quantum mechanics to hold together and allows the evolution of the universe to be tracked back all the way to the big bang and even before.
In the years of study into cosmology and quantum mechanics, there has been a lot learned about the matter and energy. The amount of potential energy that can be created when mixing matter and anti-matter is huge. Even that energy can still be trumped by the energy which comes from dark matter. I find all of these types of matter being converted to energy to be very powerful in understanding more about life in this universe. However, I would like to suggest that physicist have overlooked possibly the most powerful type of matter in the universe, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter is capable of deflecting just about anything in the opposite direction from which it comes. A simple experiment that you can perform yourself without having to have billions of dollars worth of technical equipment is to just use the words doesn't matter in a conversation, preferably one where someone is telling you something they consider of great importance.
I have been studying doesn't matter for a very long time. Doesn't matter does not create energy when it collides with something else but it does the exact opposite of create, it absorbs energy. Doesn't matter can bring a conversation that is moving at the maximum speed at which one can follow what the person talking is saying to a complete stop in an instant. I will make the bold statement that the greatest force in the universe comes from the release of doesn't matter. I will even go a little further to say that doesn't matter is able to solve all the unknowns in quantum mechanics. It just doesn't matter, problem solved.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Coerced Confessions of a Malcontent
I have a wonderful bunch of friends, really I do. I really enjoy their ability to give me comfort when I am in a highly agitated state. Not that I run around angry all the time exactly but on those occasions when the steam starts building up, the support is overwhelming. Apparently when I'm in the middle of a temper tantrum there is some type of comedic/cartoonish appearance because I find the angrier I get the more they laugh. This is really good because eventually I get into making them laugh more than continuing to be angry about something and then it sort of fades away. Granted on a few occasions I have caught said friends baiting me with temptations of blowing my top, but I really do try to keep a handle on things.
Sometimes I don't feel like being honest with myself about the reasons that I am less than content with the world that I am visiting, I refuse to claim any ownership due to the amount of anger that would result because of how everyone has treated it, but I make an effort to bring a little reality in to focus from time to time. My general disgust is the result of many years of a festering collection of injuries I have suffered by the razor sharp words of those I have encountered. Not all entities have brought me harm but there are some have rearranged my entire trust system by their most likely unintentional verbalizations. Am I a sensitive sort? I don't know, how would you describe a raw nerve being used as a jump rope by all who are present? I find happiness to be a major annoyance because then I start feeling all comfortable and start relaxing and letting my guard down then the next thing you know, pow, I get sucker punched.
Balancing on the tightrope between socially acceptable behavior and belligerence requires a great deal of management. Being able to create a disturbance of such magnitude that you are gain control of the room is paramount to carrying out business of the day but one has to manage the magnitude of the disturbance just enough to control the room, not clear it. I have begun to implement the occasional facial tic into my presentations and have found it to be a very useful tool shortly after having reached a crescendo and seem to be calming down. Stuttering however becomes more of a distraction and should only be used on very specific words, which ever word has an extreme amount of pleasantry associated with it. Eye contact is very critical, maintaining a solid glare takes a lot of concentration. When you need a little break, look down and pretend to mumble something.
The displeasure of dining with coworkers is an overwhelming source of fury to keep one from fading off into a state of slumber after having gorged on a double portion of deep fried what ever it is that you are trying to kill yourself with. Between the indigestion from consuming what is being substituted in place of a meal in 10 to 12 minutes and the incessant chatter about what everyone did over the weekend I find myself ready to stand on the table and yell "Do you really think anyone cares about how long it took for you to get the tent put together only for it to fall down when you tried to get in it?". I find it very useful to retain those feelings to build enough steam to be able to have and extended outburst in the mid afternoon when you need an excuse to make others think they are keeping you from getting your work done. This makes it easy to get 20 minutes of quiet time by hiding in the restroom for a bit.
Monitoring the traffic report is also a great way to make things worse than they have to be. Knowing which route will cause you the greatest amount of slow driving gives you a wealth of topics for the water cooler session when you get into the office. Tales of observing drivers around you performing bizarre rituals or performing some type of song and dance number instead of trying to advance on the journey to the source of greatest gloom, I mean the office. Just one morning I would really like to see everyone listening to the same station and performing as a group. That would push those buttons that only someone who you have lived with for more than 12 years can usually push. Commuting is such a wonderful use of time that you would spend staring at the wall with a cup of coffee in your hand if you didn't have to actually leave your house.
Bubbly personalities drive me to depths of insanity that are so dark they even make me feel a little unnerved at times. Terminally happy people are really scary for someone of my demeanor. However I suppose they have to exist in order to maintain some sort of cosmic balance in the universe by offsetting congeniality I project. I sometime fantasize about restraining the bubbly personality in the supply closet along with the person in charge of the coffee committee. I mean really, does it mean that much to everyone that a quarter get put in the can for every cup of coffee consumed? Maybe I should wait until everyone is done then take what would be poured out and store it until the next morning to be reheated, I'm sure it can't taste any worse at that point.
Make regular announcements about the office burglar having made his rounds, this will help divert attention away from you in case you have to borrow a pen or a stapler for some reason. This also raises the assumption that everyone is a person of interest in an ongoing investigation that you have secretly been self appointed to conduct around the office. It's also a good idea to drop by and inquire about whoever isn't in the office that day to arouse everyones suspicion of that person potentially being the perpetrator of the criminal activity around the office. This technique really gives you a lot of power and most likely will put you on the list of consideration next time there is an manager position open. Being a manager is the holy grail for those who aspire to the highest levels of discontent. Managers are professionals at creating massive outburst and creating the type of control over a room that we can only dream of.
Happy hour? No.
After work it is very important to always have a reason you can't attend any of the team building exercises at the bar closest to the source of gloom. Stories of having to clean the deposits made by the neighbors dog from your lawn before the sun begins to set and the mosquitoes embark upon their quest for their evening meal will usually do the trick. The advantages of implementing an antisocial agenda are really nice when the holidays are approaching. If you get an invitation to the seasonal gatherings, it can easily be ignored and most likely nobody will risk giving you another just in case the office supply thief might have picked it up.
Most important item to keep on ones desk is a picture frame that is face down on the desk. This gives you a reason to snap st anyone who tries to put it upright so you can scold them about how much pain and anguish that picture makes you feel and that it wouldn't improve the general mood around the office for it to change positions. I find that to be a fabulous deterrent to the "Christmas Carolers" that swing by the desk to brighten up my day with some light hearted banter, the kind that makes me want to slam a desk drawer shut while no noticing their fingers were in the way. One of these days all of my rage will allow me to transcend the state of existence and allow me to freely roam the halls in search of the ultimate place for a quick nap.
While I cannot confirm the accuracy of these statement, I can suggest that everyone of us works with this person or has at some point. Every office has one and it is crucial to understand the motivations of this person if you want leverage in any office politics. Please keep all personal items within your personal space and don't fuel the fire of the vicious office creature of ill will. This now concludes the tour of the darkest reaches of my thoughts on work.
P.S. -- I am really not that miserable, I was just having some fun wishing I could be that guy for a little bit.
Sometimes I don't feel like being honest with myself about the reasons that I am less than content with the world that I am visiting, I refuse to claim any ownership due to the amount of anger that would result because of how everyone has treated it, but I make an effort to bring a little reality in to focus from time to time. My general disgust is the result of many years of a festering collection of injuries I have suffered by the razor sharp words of those I have encountered. Not all entities have brought me harm but there are some have rearranged my entire trust system by their most likely unintentional verbalizations. Am I a sensitive sort? I don't know, how would you describe a raw nerve being used as a jump rope by all who are present? I find happiness to be a major annoyance because then I start feeling all comfortable and start relaxing and letting my guard down then the next thing you know, pow, I get sucker punched.
Balancing on the tightrope between socially acceptable behavior and belligerence requires a great deal of management. Being able to create a disturbance of such magnitude that you are gain control of the room is paramount to carrying out business of the day but one has to manage the magnitude of the disturbance just enough to control the room, not clear it. I have begun to implement the occasional facial tic into my presentations and have found it to be a very useful tool shortly after having reached a crescendo and seem to be calming down. Stuttering however becomes more of a distraction and should only be used on very specific words, which ever word has an extreme amount of pleasantry associated with it. Eye contact is very critical, maintaining a solid glare takes a lot of concentration. When you need a little break, look down and pretend to mumble something.
The displeasure of dining with coworkers is an overwhelming source of fury to keep one from fading off into a state of slumber after having gorged on a double portion of deep fried what ever it is that you are trying to kill yourself with. Between the indigestion from consuming what is being substituted in place of a meal in 10 to 12 minutes and the incessant chatter about what everyone did over the weekend I find myself ready to stand on the table and yell "Do you really think anyone cares about how long it took for you to get the tent put together only for it to fall down when you tried to get in it?". I find it very useful to retain those feelings to build enough steam to be able to have and extended outburst in the mid afternoon when you need an excuse to make others think they are keeping you from getting your work done. This makes it easy to get 20 minutes of quiet time by hiding in the restroom for a bit.
Monitoring the traffic report is also a great way to make things worse than they have to be. Knowing which route will cause you the greatest amount of slow driving gives you a wealth of topics for the water cooler session when you get into the office. Tales of observing drivers around you performing bizarre rituals or performing some type of song and dance number instead of trying to advance on the journey to the source of greatest gloom, I mean the office. Just one morning I would really like to see everyone listening to the same station and performing as a group. That would push those buttons that only someone who you have lived with for more than 12 years can usually push. Commuting is such a wonderful use of time that you would spend staring at the wall with a cup of coffee in your hand if you didn't have to actually leave your house.
Bubbly personalities drive me to depths of insanity that are so dark they even make me feel a little unnerved at times. Terminally happy people are really scary for someone of my demeanor. However I suppose they have to exist in order to maintain some sort of cosmic balance in the universe by offsetting congeniality I project. I sometime fantasize about restraining the bubbly personality in the supply closet along with the person in charge of the coffee committee. I mean really, does it mean that much to everyone that a quarter get put in the can for every cup of coffee consumed? Maybe I should wait until everyone is done then take what would be poured out and store it until the next morning to be reheated, I'm sure it can't taste any worse at that point.
Make regular announcements about the office burglar having made his rounds, this will help divert attention away from you in case you have to borrow a pen or a stapler for some reason. This also raises the assumption that everyone is a person of interest in an ongoing investigation that you have secretly been self appointed to conduct around the office. It's also a good idea to drop by and inquire about whoever isn't in the office that day to arouse everyones suspicion of that person potentially being the perpetrator of the criminal activity around the office. This technique really gives you a lot of power and most likely will put you on the list of consideration next time there is an manager position open. Being a manager is the holy grail for those who aspire to the highest levels of discontent. Managers are professionals at creating massive outburst and creating the type of control over a room that we can only dream of.
Happy hour? No.
After work it is very important to always have a reason you can't attend any of the team building exercises at the bar closest to the source of gloom. Stories of having to clean the deposits made by the neighbors dog from your lawn before the sun begins to set and the mosquitoes embark upon their quest for their evening meal will usually do the trick. The advantages of implementing an antisocial agenda are really nice when the holidays are approaching. If you get an invitation to the seasonal gatherings, it can easily be ignored and most likely nobody will risk giving you another just in case the office supply thief might have picked it up.
Most important item to keep on ones desk is a picture frame that is face down on the desk. This gives you a reason to snap st anyone who tries to put it upright so you can scold them about how much pain and anguish that picture makes you feel and that it wouldn't improve the general mood around the office for it to change positions. I find that to be a fabulous deterrent to the "Christmas Carolers" that swing by the desk to brighten up my day with some light hearted banter, the kind that makes me want to slam a desk drawer shut while no noticing their fingers were in the way. One of these days all of my rage will allow me to transcend the state of existence and allow me to freely roam the halls in search of the ultimate place for a quick nap.
While I cannot confirm the accuracy of these statement, I can suggest that everyone of us works with this person or has at some point. Every office has one and it is crucial to understand the motivations of this person if you want leverage in any office politics. Please keep all personal items within your personal space and don't fuel the fire of the vicious office creature of ill will. This now concludes the tour of the darkest reaches of my thoughts on work.
P.S. -- I am really not that miserable, I was just having some fun wishing I could be that guy for a little bit.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Living a "Plan B" Life
Occasionally I get to thinking about the events in my life that has led me to my current position. How did I end up living out here again? What caused me to get into the kind of work I am doing? Why do I surround myself with my current set of friends? Who am I today compared to who I thought I was going to be? Fumbling through all of the memories that are my journey and trying to sort them out into answers to some of these questions brings up a lot of laughter and an equal amount of pain. For the most part I can at least say it was an interesting ride to get here, even the bumpy parts.
Several years ago I was convinced that I was going to do something really big and propel myself into the lifestyle of the rich and famous. I spend many hours working out a series of plans for how I was going to reach escape velocity and break out of the chains that were holding me at the place I was in life. I thought I could invent something that everyone on the planet would need at least 2 of or that I would be the musician that everyone wanted to hear all the time. I had a lot of ideas about how I was going to achieve greatness. Well, I gave up on being an astronaut, rock star, inventor and several other paths that I seen my self following.
Looking back on some of these ideas I see why a lot of those plans didn’t work out and that I was stumbling around most of the way to where I am now. My original plans just never seemed to work and I realized that I am living a “Plan B” life. That is when I started thinking about if I ever have a “Plan B” and I have to admit that I did not. Don’t get me wrong, I am completely happy with where I am and what I am doing. I have a wonderful life. I just don’t understand exactly how I ended up here. When I look around at most of the people I know I realize I am not alone in the “Plan B” column which makes me smile.
I could have easily made my way to where I am if I had planned it. It would have been really boring though. I used to get down when one of my efforts to change the world failed. The more failures that I encountered the more I got to appreciate the lessons I learned. I like to learn and have a great hunger for knowledge. I spent a few years finding new ways to fail just so I could learn more. Little did I know at the time that all I was learning was how not to do something. Eventually the seeking failure wasn’t quite as amusing as it was at first. That is when I decided it was time to take a little more serious look at what I was doing and try to find something I could do and stick with it for a while.
To set the record straight, I think everyone should jump out there and fail as much as they can afford to without losing everything. It is a really liberating feeling to put all your effort into something that amounts to absolutely nothing by the time it’s all said and done. The humility one achieves upon the realization that it’s time to head back to the drawing board is one of life’s greatest gifts. If it were not for that gift, the pleasure of succeeding would not be such a big deal. The thrill of victory is pretty boring unless you are very familiar with the agony of defeat.
Living the “Plan B” life is not horrible by any means. I spent way too much time thinking that I needed to do more and try harder to get to a new level. I don’t consider it wasted time though because I have the experiences that when summed up make me who I am today. Not to get too deep into belief systems but I do have a very firm belief that a person finds themselves where they need to be when they need to be there. I used to panic if I thought I was running late for something but as time rolled on I started to notice that there were things that happened as a result of me being where I happened to be. I also avoided some pretty nasty things by not getting there too early, I’m sure everyone has driven up on an accident that could have been them if they hadn’t stopped to do something.
My life has turned out to be perfect because of the fact that it’s anything but perfect. I haven’t made a fortune, married a movie star, moved to my own secluded island or become a house hold name. All the things that I dreamed I would accomplish and that I thought would be what would make me happy are actually far from where I have found happiness. Being a student of the human condition I have studied a lot of humans that were in a wide variety of conditions including myself. Most of the knowledge I have acquired points to a really odd formula for finding personal happiness. Talk to someone who is close to the end of their journey and they will tell you the thing of greatest value to them are the memories. Good memories or bad, the memories are what make use human. It is also very difficult to remove a memory from someone so a memory can be considered a possession.
While I have not completed my work on the formula for personal happiness, I have gotten some of the constants established so I feel it is safe to show what I have found so far. First of all, find the desire to change the world and develop some ideas and plans to make it happen. Attempt to implement these ideas and plans. If it works out then you get the warm feeling of having changed the world otherwise you get the chance to learn and gain some humility. Next step is to accept that “Plan B” is most likely the preferred path through life anyway, let go of the things you have no control over. The ability to enjoy the evolution of your own life as it is happening is definitely something to strive for. Take time to reflect on your experiences and try to find away to use the knowledge of failures to take on something bigger for your next attempt. Repeat the cycle as many times as you can and try not to burn any bridges in the process.
Living the “Plan B” life is the only life I would want to live. Nobody could have convinced me of that as a teenager. Learning to fail gracefully and still keep pushing forward is probably the biggest success that anyone can achieve. Life keeps coming whether you are ready for it or not so acceptance of where you are at is really key to being able to enjoy yourself and find the strength to keep trying to improve. Next time you are dusting yourself off after falling on your face, take the time to think about how it happened and laugh at how it must have looked like to someone else. Live the life you have and see where it takes you.
Several years ago I was convinced that I was going to do something really big and propel myself into the lifestyle of the rich and famous. I spend many hours working out a series of plans for how I was going to reach escape velocity and break out of the chains that were holding me at the place I was in life. I thought I could invent something that everyone on the planet would need at least 2 of or that I would be the musician that everyone wanted to hear all the time. I had a lot of ideas about how I was going to achieve greatness. Well, I gave up on being an astronaut, rock star, inventor and several other paths that I seen my self following.
Looking back on some of these ideas I see why a lot of those plans didn’t work out and that I was stumbling around most of the way to where I am now. My original plans just never seemed to work and I realized that I am living a “Plan B” life. That is when I started thinking about if I ever have a “Plan B” and I have to admit that I did not. Don’t get me wrong, I am completely happy with where I am and what I am doing. I have a wonderful life. I just don’t understand exactly how I ended up here. When I look around at most of the people I know I realize I am not alone in the “Plan B” column which makes me smile.
I could have easily made my way to where I am if I had planned it. It would have been really boring though. I used to get down when one of my efforts to change the world failed. The more failures that I encountered the more I got to appreciate the lessons I learned. I like to learn and have a great hunger for knowledge. I spent a few years finding new ways to fail just so I could learn more. Little did I know at the time that all I was learning was how not to do something. Eventually the seeking failure wasn’t quite as amusing as it was at first. That is when I decided it was time to take a little more serious look at what I was doing and try to find something I could do and stick with it for a while.
To set the record straight, I think everyone should jump out there and fail as much as they can afford to without losing everything. It is a really liberating feeling to put all your effort into something that amounts to absolutely nothing by the time it’s all said and done. The humility one achieves upon the realization that it’s time to head back to the drawing board is one of life’s greatest gifts. If it were not for that gift, the pleasure of succeeding would not be such a big deal. The thrill of victory is pretty boring unless you are very familiar with the agony of defeat.
Living the “Plan B” life is not horrible by any means. I spent way too much time thinking that I needed to do more and try harder to get to a new level. I don’t consider it wasted time though because I have the experiences that when summed up make me who I am today. Not to get too deep into belief systems but I do have a very firm belief that a person finds themselves where they need to be when they need to be there. I used to panic if I thought I was running late for something but as time rolled on I started to notice that there were things that happened as a result of me being where I happened to be. I also avoided some pretty nasty things by not getting there too early, I’m sure everyone has driven up on an accident that could have been them if they hadn’t stopped to do something.
My life has turned out to be perfect because of the fact that it’s anything but perfect. I haven’t made a fortune, married a movie star, moved to my own secluded island or become a house hold name. All the things that I dreamed I would accomplish and that I thought would be what would make me happy are actually far from where I have found happiness. Being a student of the human condition I have studied a lot of humans that were in a wide variety of conditions including myself. Most of the knowledge I have acquired points to a really odd formula for finding personal happiness. Talk to someone who is close to the end of their journey and they will tell you the thing of greatest value to them are the memories. Good memories or bad, the memories are what make use human. It is also very difficult to remove a memory from someone so a memory can be considered a possession.
While I have not completed my work on the formula for personal happiness, I have gotten some of the constants established so I feel it is safe to show what I have found so far. First of all, find the desire to change the world and develop some ideas and plans to make it happen. Attempt to implement these ideas and plans. If it works out then you get the warm feeling of having changed the world otherwise you get the chance to learn and gain some humility. Next step is to accept that “Plan B” is most likely the preferred path through life anyway, let go of the things you have no control over. The ability to enjoy the evolution of your own life as it is happening is definitely something to strive for. Take time to reflect on your experiences and try to find away to use the knowledge of failures to take on something bigger for your next attempt. Repeat the cycle as many times as you can and try not to burn any bridges in the process.
Living the “Plan B” life is the only life I would want to live. Nobody could have convinced me of that as a teenager. Learning to fail gracefully and still keep pushing forward is probably the biggest success that anyone can achieve. Life keeps coming whether you are ready for it or not so acceptance of where you are at is really key to being able to enjoy yourself and find the strength to keep trying to improve. Next time you are dusting yourself off after falling on your face, take the time to think about how it happened and laugh at how it must have looked like to someone else. Live the life you have and see where it takes you.
Don't Ignore the Details
One of my favorite hobbies is one that was shared with my dad for many years. It’s kind of an abstract hobby but it provides endless entertainment. The hobby is observation which apparently requires quite a few skills that aren’t available to everyone. When I would go with my dad to do things as a kid, he would frequently remind me to quietly take note of what is happening around the activity I am doing. Pay attention to the little details and to not get excited when I see something I wasn’t expecting. This is particularly handy when snakes are involved but it also helped my train my thought processes in a way that really comes in handy these days. The ability to observe the minor details while engaged in problem solving is a valuable tool that helps a great deal with my job. For my dad, his observation skills gained him the reputation for being psychic when he could tell people something about what they had done the night before. I have directed my observation towards some of the details I encounter when solving a problem related to machines rather than people.
Working on computing equipment has some very interesting problems available for solving. Some of the problems revolve around getting the computer to perform the desired functions it was designed to do, some problems revolve around designing the functions that are desired to be performed. One of the things I really like about working with computers is they give a never ending opportunity to capture the mistakes of humans. Computers are fairly forgiving is a few ways. An example is when there are several people involved with putting the system together, each person that installs something or configures something has an opportunity to make a few mistakes along the way but the system can still perform the functions it was intended for. When you have one group that connects all the hardware, then another group that installs the operating system and the base set of software, another group installing and configuring the main applications and yet another group that maintains the system when it is done. The more people involved the more the little mistakes start to accumulate and can make for some really abstract symptoms.
My responsibilities require experience with all of the phases of getting the system put together and running along with the programming skills I use to automate as many of the task as possible. Writing programs to install software and configure applications can be extremely convoluted depending on the number of conditions that might be encountered and what actions are required to overcome these conditions. Having spent a lot of time writing installation programs I have had to learn how the operating system functions at the low levels as well as a long history of the evolution of software installation programming. For a long time software installation wasn’t anywhere close to an art or a science and getting software to uninstall correctly had the same odds as winning the lottery. I have spent a lot of time reverse engineering what other install programmers had done in order to find the best method to fix what they got wrong. I have a huge bag of tricks for getting software installed and even more for removing a hacked up install job.
Over the years there have been massive improvements in installer technology but there are still a lot of opportunities for people to make mistakes. My main responsibility is to write install programs to remove the interactivity requirement of other install programs and to make the corrections to as many conditions as possible to ensure that software is getting installed the same way every time. This is critical when you are dealing with over 10,000 systems that have been touched by who knows how many people. There are challenges that are created by random methods of things done by my co-workers and then there are the problems that are created by the company that provides the software “solution” that we are trying to install. I have a really long mental list of things that I have had to deal with over the last few years but occasionally I find a new one. This week I got to see several new ones which was surprising because of how smooth things seem to have been going lately.
I have learned to be very forgiving of mistakes that are made my the people that are handling a large number of machines because of how busy we all are it’s really easy to forget where you were at on a process that you are having to perform 20 or 30 times in a day. I have even become very accepting of a lot of the problems that are created by the vendors install programmers. However there are a few things that grab me by the monkey nerve and drag me around by it for days. There are a few products that we deal with that our company spends millions of dollars in licensing and support. When those don’t work as they are supposed to this is where my gray hair comes from. I have to use every trick in my bag to figure out why the installs are broken and how to fix it because the vendor’s proposed solution typically requires someone interacting with each machine. Sometimes it can turn out to be a real interesting problem to solve and then there are a few times that can only be described it the stupidest thing ever done in the history of computing machines.
I have been trying to figure out why in the last couple of months I have encountered so much that falls under the description of the stupidest thing I have seen yet. It’s really been eating a lot of my brain power trying to understand how a couple of companies that we spend millions of dollars with could present us with such stupidity as I have been dealing with. After a day of being beaten down by these stupid problems I came home and tried to relax a little and I think I might have stumbled on to an answer that would make sense. I was watching the news and seeing the latest on the oil spill and all of the controversy associated with those activities and it started getting a little clearer. Since software keeps growing in complexity it is taking longer for developers to finish and when they hand it off to their installation developer (typically the new guy on the team) there isn’t enough time to make sure that all of the details are worked out so the take a few short cuts. Some of these shortcuts are creative but for the most part they are completely stupid and necessary. This kind of reminds me of someone buying a lot of expensive china and having it delivered in a wheelbarrow.
I used to get annoyed with my dad when he would tell me to be quiet and listen, to stop and look around, to be aware of what is happening. I am sitting here tonight being very thankful that he spent the time to teach me how to observe the minute details that most people miss. That has given me the skills that make it possible for me to do the thing I get paid for. Sure the college degree and several years of dealing with these kinds of problems have contributed to the ability but the most important thing was taught to me while I was out fishing with my dad. When an installation blows up and scatters bits all over a computer, it tends to panic a lot of people but it’s kind of funny when it happens to me I hear my dad say “Shhhh, look, listen and pay attention for just a second.”
Working on computing equipment has some very interesting problems available for solving. Some of the problems revolve around getting the computer to perform the desired functions it was designed to do, some problems revolve around designing the functions that are desired to be performed. One of the things I really like about working with computers is they give a never ending opportunity to capture the mistakes of humans. Computers are fairly forgiving is a few ways. An example is when there are several people involved with putting the system together, each person that installs something or configures something has an opportunity to make a few mistakes along the way but the system can still perform the functions it was intended for. When you have one group that connects all the hardware, then another group that installs the operating system and the base set of software, another group installing and configuring the main applications and yet another group that maintains the system when it is done. The more people involved the more the little mistakes start to accumulate and can make for some really abstract symptoms.
My responsibilities require experience with all of the phases of getting the system put together and running along with the programming skills I use to automate as many of the task as possible. Writing programs to install software and configure applications can be extremely convoluted depending on the number of conditions that might be encountered and what actions are required to overcome these conditions. Having spent a lot of time writing installation programs I have had to learn how the operating system functions at the low levels as well as a long history of the evolution of software installation programming. For a long time software installation wasn’t anywhere close to an art or a science and getting software to uninstall correctly had the same odds as winning the lottery. I have spent a lot of time reverse engineering what other install programmers had done in order to find the best method to fix what they got wrong. I have a huge bag of tricks for getting software installed and even more for removing a hacked up install job.
Over the years there have been massive improvements in installer technology but there are still a lot of opportunities for people to make mistakes. My main responsibility is to write install programs to remove the interactivity requirement of other install programs and to make the corrections to as many conditions as possible to ensure that software is getting installed the same way every time. This is critical when you are dealing with over 10,000 systems that have been touched by who knows how many people. There are challenges that are created by random methods of things done by my co-workers and then there are the problems that are created by the company that provides the software “solution” that we are trying to install. I have a really long mental list of things that I have had to deal with over the last few years but occasionally I find a new one. This week I got to see several new ones which was surprising because of how smooth things seem to have been going lately.
I have learned to be very forgiving of mistakes that are made my the people that are handling a large number of machines because of how busy we all are it’s really easy to forget where you were at on a process that you are having to perform 20 or 30 times in a day. I have even become very accepting of a lot of the problems that are created by the vendors install programmers. However there are a few things that grab me by the monkey nerve and drag me around by it for days. There are a few products that we deal with that our company spends millions of dollars in licensing and support. When those don’t work as they are supposed to this is where my gray hair comes from. I have to use every trick in my bag to figure out why the installs are broken and how to fix it because the vendor’s proposed solution typically requires someone interacting with each machine. Sometimes it can turn out to be a real interesting problem to solve and then there are a few times that can only be described it the stupidest thing ever done in the history of computing machines.
I have been trying to figure out why in the last couple of months I have encountered so much that falls under the description of the stupidest thing I have seen yet. It’s really been eating a lot of my brain power trying to understand how a couple of companies that we spend millions of dollars with could present us with such stupidity as I have been dealing with. After a day of being beaten down by these stupid problems I came home and tried to relax a little and I think I might have stumbled on to an answer that would make sense. I was watching the news and seeing the latest on the oil spill and all of the controversy associated with those activities and it started getting a little clearer. Since software keeps growing in complexity it is taking longer for developers to finish and when they hand it off to their installation developer (typically the new guy on the team) there isn’t enough time to make sure that all of the details are worked out so the take a few short cuts. Some of these shortcuts are creative but for the most part they are completely stupid and necessary. This kind of reminds me of someone buying a lot of expensive china and having it delivered in a wheelbarrow.
I used to get annoyed with my dad when he would tell me to be quiet and listen, to stop and look around, to be aware of what is happening. I am sitting here tonight being very thankful that he spent the time to teach me how to observe the minute details that most people miss. That has given me the skills that make it possible for me to do the thing I get paid for. Sure the college degree and several years of dealing with these kinds of problems have contributed to the ability but the most important thing was taught to me while I was out fishing with my dad. When an installation blows up and scatters bits all over a computer, it tends to panic a lot of people but it’s kind of funny when it happens to me I hear my dad say “Shhhh, look, listen and pay attention for just a second.”
Don't Ask "We the People" Until You Have Done for Yourself
Living in DC for the last 10 years has been interesting to say the least. I have definitely had my opinion of the American Dream redirected into the American Nightmare. I try to avoid the political types as often as possible but I have had a few occasions to practice holding my tongue while speaking to them. My personal political views are usually in contrast to those I find myself around. I think the most important view on politics is that we could use a lot less of the politics and a lot more solving the problems.
The polarity that has been driving the politics for the last few years is really wrecking our ability to participate effectively. I am finding it very annoying that the ability to have a reasonable discussion of an issue is not possible today. Everyone seems to take the I'm right and you are wrong opinion on every topic. At some point our country is going to have to leave their emotions out of the conversation and try a little bit of rationale to begin solving some of these problems.
Greed and pride are the sins that will bring us down unless there can be a balance found along the way. I remember as a kid being taught that sharing is a good thing and that admitting your wrong and apologizing for it made a lot of problems go away. Somewhere along the way these principals have faded. I'm not suggesting we become a socialist country by any means. The point is that there have been a lot of mistakes made in the last 30 years or so and nobody is willing to say I was wrong, I'm sorry or I feel bad that I made billions of dollars while you guys took the risk.
I have a lot of intellectual friends that spend a great deal of time deep in thought about how to move America back into the place that the rest of the world envies. There are some extreme challenges involved and the most important one is that people need to start analyzing what they are thinking before saying it. I can't stand to hear someone say that we need less regulation of corporations and then be complaining when they have to call the help desk when their computer has a problem because the person that answers the phone is difficult to understand because of the heavy accent.
Since my political opinions are typically in contrast with those I am surrounded by, I tend to not share much of my thoughts. I have decided maybe I should share a little of what I have been observing for the last few years. The desire for personal gain has driven us into an extremely vulnerable situation. The economic disaster we are trying to deal with was very easy to see coming for the few that weren't blinded by the desire to have more regardless of what the impact was on others.
10 years ago, I came here for a job as a contractor and was getting paid a massive amount more than I had ever made before. I did enjoy that paychecks for a while and I got a few toys and made a few trips and found myself with a large chunk of debt. I was never under the illusion that the wave was going to last forever so after a couple of years of enjoying the lifestyle I realized that I should make some changes to habits and get myself completely out of debt and even stash some money away for later. Oh yeah I was tempted to invest in the exploding stocks or even play the housing roulette that people were playing to work their way up into a house they couldn't afford. I resisted and I'm glad I did.
Property prices were beyond nuts in this area for quite a while but the bit of time I was monitoring what was happening I saw the $300,000 town houses climb to over a million in a short amount of time. I was watching people who made less than me committing themselves to these massive mortgages thinking that the growth would continue. While this was going on I was also watching a trend of the large companies beginning to send as much work as possible to a country where they could exploit the labor at 20% of the cost of what it cost domestically.
So people were committing to huge mortgages at the same time that their jobs were in the process of being sent offshore. Then I started noticing that companies that were involved in these activities start planning on the domestic demand to continue to grow. They kind of overlooked the fact that the people that used to work for them that they felt were getting paid too much were the incomes they were counting on to drive the domestic demand that they were betting on.
That my friends is the recipe for Epic Fail of biblical proportions.
It is time for sensibility to be brought back into the decisions being made that effect our future. We can't afford to continue to be the world police when we can't control the massive crimes that our countrymen are inflicting on each other with the economic loopholes that have been created. It's time for those who made a fortune at the cost of others misfortune to pay their part. We are in a place that is going to require somebody pay taxes to reduce this debt. I don't mind paying my part but I fully expect those who played such a large role in wrecking our economy to pay their share too.
I am not asking for any punishment to be given out. I would like to see a lot more people acknowledge I spent more than I can afford and I want to do better. I would also like to see those predators that took advantage of those to say we were wrong in taking advantage of your desires to have more stuff and to give them a little assistance in balancing things out. Getting out of debt requires some extreme discomfort at times but having put myself through what I had to do to get my finances going in the right direction without causing harm to others in the process has made me feel a lot better about who I am and how I got here.
If you are in debt, figure out how to get out of debt and do it. We cannot hold our government to a standard that we cannot adhere to ourselves. Don't spend what you don't have. When we can show the politicians that it can be done on an individual level then maybe we can do it as a collective. Take responsibility for your mess and clean it up. When you are done give someone else a little help in the right direction. Moral support, sharing lessons learned while getting out of debt, saying a few positive words to people rather than being judgmental of their actions and we can all move forward again.
If the polarization of the politics continues without people standing up and saying I am willing to do my part and I'm afraid our days are numbered. When we are once again able to work together for a solution that we can all live with our faith and hope will restore itself. Stop being angry and whining and start rolling up your sleeves and do what you can please.
The polarity that has been driving the politics for the last few years is really wrecking our ability to participate effectively. I am finding it very annoying that the ability to have a reasonable discussion of an issue is not possible today. Everyone seems to take the I'm right and you are wrong opinion on every topic. At some point our country is going to have to leave their emotions out of the conversation and try a little bit of rationale to begin solving some of these problems.
Greed and pride are the sins that will bring us down unless there can be a balance found along the way. I remember as a kid being taught that sharing is a good thing and that admitting your wrong and apologizing for it made a lot of problems go away. Somewhere along the way these principals have faded. I'm not suggesting we become a socialist country by any means. The point is that there have been a lot of mistakes made in the last 30 years or so and nobody is willing to say I was wrong, I'm sorry or I feel bad that I made billions of dollars while you guys took the risk.
I have a lot of intellectual friends that spend a great deal of time deep in thought about how to move America back into the place that the rest of the world envies. There are some extreme challenges involved and the most important one is that people need to start analyzing what they are thinking before saying it. I can't stand to hear someone say that we need less regulation of corporations and then be complaining when they have to call the help desk when their computer has a problem because the person that answers the phone is difficult to understand because of the heavy accent.
Since my political opinions are typically in contrast with those I am surrounded by, I tend to not share much of my thoughts. I have decided maybe I should share a little of what I have been observing for the last few years. The desire for personal gain has driven us into an extremely vulnerable situation. The economic disaster we are trying to deal with was very easy to see coming for the few that weren't blinded by the desire to have more regardless of what the impact was on others.
10 years ago, I came here for a job as a contractor and was getting paid a massive amount more than I had ever made before. I did enjoy that paychecks for a while and I got a few toys and made a few trips and found myself with a large chunk of debt. I was never under the illusion that the wave was going to last forever so after a couple of years of enjoying the lifestyle I realized that I should make some changes to habits and get myself completely out of debt and even stash some money away for later. Oh yeah I was tempted to invest in the exploding stocks or even play the housing roulette that people were playing to work their way up into a house they couldn't afford. I resisted and I'm glad I did.
Property prices were beyond nuts in this area for quite a while but the bit of time I was monitoring what was happening I saw the $300,000 town houses climb to over a million in a short amount of time. I was watching people who made less than me committing themselves to these massive mortgages thinking that the growth would continue. While this was going on I was also watching a trend of the large companies beginning to send as much work as possible to a country where they could exploit the labor at 20% of the cost of what it cost domestically.
So people were committing to huge mortgages at the same time that their jobs were in the process of being sent offshore. Then I started noticing that companies that were involved in these activities start planning on the domestic demand to continue to grow. They kind of overlooked the fact that the people that used to work for them that they felt were getting paid too much were the incomes they were counting on to drive the domestic demand that they were betting on.
That my friends is the recipe for Epic Fail of biblical proportions.
It is time for sensibility to be brought back into the decisions being made that effect our future. We can't afford to continue to be the world police when we can't control the massive crimes that our countrymen are inflicting on each other with the economic loopholes that have been created. It's time for those who made a fortune at the cost of others misfortune to pay their part. We are in a place that is going to require somebody pay taxes to reduce this debt. I don't mind paying my part but I fully expect those who played such a large role in wrecking our economy to pay their share too.
I am not asking for any punishment to be given out. I would like to see a lot more people acknowledge I spent more than I can afford and I want to do better. I would also like to see those predators that took advantage of those to say we were wrong in taking advantage of your desires to have more stuff and to give them a little assistance in balancing things out. Getting out of debt requires some extreme discomfort at times but having put myself through what I had to do to get my finances going in the right direction without causing harm to others in the process has made me feel a lot better about who I am and how I got here.
If you are in debt, figure out how to get out of debt and do it. We cannot hold our government to a standard that we cannot adhere to ourselves. Don't spend what you don't have. When we can show the politicians that it can be done on an individual level then maybe we can do it as a collective. Take responsibility for your mess and clean it up. When you are done give someone else a little help in the right direction. Moral support, sharing lessons learned while getting out of debt, saying a few positive words to people rather than being judgmental of their actions and we can all move forward again.
If the polarization of the politics continues without people standing up and saying I am willing to do my part and I'm afraid our days are numbered. When we are once again able to work together for a solution that we can all live with our faith and hope will restore itself. Stop being angry and whining and start rolling up your sleeves and do what you can please.
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