Favorite Picture

I had a cat named Tucker for about 15 years. He was the best cat anyone could ever hope for. He was one of the few cats that would do tricks on command. It's been almost 3 years since he died but I still think of him with a smile quite often. This picture is of him sleeping the way I would see him every afternoon when I would get home from work.

Tucker was not a big fan of the lights shining in his eyes, me either really, so he adapted to make napping work well for him. 

He was such a joy to be around, even though he was a large cat he could somehow find his way onto the top of the entertainment center. I am glad to have had 15 years of his company.

Post Election Post

Now that the election is over I'm hoping to find something else to amuse myself with. The results of the election is going to be analyzed until everyone is unhappy with the new guys. All of the people that appeared on my ballot who I voted for won, so technically everything that is within my realm is good. Seeing how some of the other states came out, I have my concerns about where we are going next with this bunch of nuts. We have a considerable amount of people that are new to governing that will be taking some important roles. Seems like a few years ago there was a lot more who had actually studied law or political science, now it seems the most popular have never even read a book. The thing that keeps me from getting upset about the whole situation is that I know we are a strong country and we can get through what ever mess they come up with.

Enough about the politics. About a year ago I bought the Rosetta Stone program for learning French as I was preparing for a trip to Montreal last year. I got far enough along that I was able to understand a little and order food and now it seems to have all faded from my memory. I keep thinking that I need to go back and try to finish  learning the language, thinking that I would be able to expand my vocabulary or find a better way to say a few things. I fear the downside would be that if I don't use if often then I will not be able to retain much. Secretly I think I just want to learn how to swear in French because it seems to be so much more expressive, or it at least sounds more civilized. Realistically I am actually trying to break from using profanity which has been a serious challenge considering my blue collar and entertainment background. I have found that I am capable of being plenty profane without having to use foul language.

Lately I have been taking inventory of most of the aspects of my life, something I do from time to time. I am really evaluating the quality of the relationships with the people I am around these days. I find myself less than content with most, I think all of this started when I went to visit my old friends a while back. It seems that the current group of people I surround myself with is not building the kinds of memories that I need to make myself feel like I am "involved" in life. I am finally to a point that I can't hide behind my health issues anymore and I have been trying to get out more often. This has pointed me in the direction of considering an academic environment to spend some time around. I find that most of the conversations I have had recently are equally as satisfying as talking to my cat, it's a nice feeling for a bit but it doesn't last very long. I need an intellectual challenge and most of my friends can talk about sports all day long but give me that look if I try to get into something of substance.

With the holidays coming up, I am thinking that since prefer to travel to see family on the off schedule so that things aren't so nutty. This leaves me with some time off work that I need to find something to do. My twisted line of thinking is suggesting that I should present my friends within a reasonable difference with a contest to win me as a guest for the holidays. In theory it seems like a great idea but it actually doesn't work out too well since I typically don't enjoy sitting around with a bunch of people where I might know 2 or 3 while family dysfunctions play themselves out in front of me. Whichever way this plan for the holidays works out, I'm sure it will provide plenty of inspiration for me to get creative again soon. I am pretty sure I am boring you by this point so I'm going to close this post, get something to eat and prepare for a little late night work I must do.

Election Night Recycler

Since it is election night and I am going to spend most of the evening watching the results I decided I should recycle some old post that are related to politics or at least my view of them.

Starting with the first post.
Don't Ask "We the People" Until You Have Done for Yourself

More of the same.
Collective Selectiveness
Politics and Religion

Now it is time for me to settle in and monitor the election results, well after I grab some dinner. I hope to soon find my creativity and write some new stuff and even try to crank out another poem or two. I need to find a little poem theory to study up on so I can give it a serious try, any suggestions?

Oh yeah, I found my autographed dollar today. It was a nice gift from a friend of mine who spoke at an event with the Secretary of the Treasury a while back.

The Non-Political Political Rally

Today I attended a rally down at the nations Capitol that was put on by our favorite political humorist John Stewart of The Daily Show fame. They did an excellent job of leaving the politics out and focused on reminding everyone that as Americans we work together everyday and solve a lot of problems and this bitter devisiveness that is going on is being fueled by the media of which they are considered part of. They had a great message about how the majority of our country are able to come together and be tolerant of others. It has become a sad day when the media coverage is spent on the extremes rather than the majority. The favorite quote for today was "If we amplify everything, then we can hear nothing." The suggestion they presented was when you feel yourself getting disgusted with what you are seeing on the cable news channels, grab the remote and switch to something else. It is very obvious why John Stewart is the most trusted person to deliver political news even though he makes it out to be comedy. John is the only person that will ask the hard questions and not let anyone get away with anything regardless of which side they come from. It was a great day if you overlook the standing in a crowd for several hours and the bit of sunburn I got, I will add a couple of pictures of the crowd later.

This says it best:
Jon Stewart being Serious

An Attempt at Something Different

In the eyes of one I have not yet  

met I see the lies of my life 

projecting onto me the struggle 

each must face to find the freedom 

to release.

It is time to fortify the fingers of 

fate and let loose the force held in 

bondage of expectation, restrained 

expression reaching for peace.

Feeling the presence of a billion

souls bound by their own belief,

aching for a breath of air not

fouled, to drink the water of truth.

Found remnants of a dream long 

dispersed, wanting more while 

taking less, enslaved by 

attachment to that which 

cannot be obtained. 

At a Loss for Words

I find myself at a loss for words lately so I have decided to recycle by putting some links to some things that seem to still be on my mind that some may have missed. The election season will be over in a week and I will hopefully find something else to occupy my fascination for a while.

Here's the old stuff.

Living a Plan B Life

Rescinded Transcendence

Fear of Wet Feet


I can't explain why I chose these but hopefully it will make sense to somebody. I'll be back with new stuff in a few days.

Losing our Legends

I have been a very fortunate through my life because I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of the legends of the music I love so much. I have even had the opportunity to have some extended friendships with some of these giants. Yesterday I got news of one of the legends that was a great friend to me several years back, someone who wasn't too proud to help out the up and coming musicians at the time, had passed on. Sadly I lost contact several years ago because I chose to move across the country but he has always been a hero to me where ever I have been. It is so rare to only have happy, fun memories about a friend but that was the case here and I do miss him.

One thing that I keep getting constant reminders of is that we need to let those we admire know how much we appreciate them more often. I have learned that everyone in my life deserves to be elevated to the legendary status, allowing me to be able to tell of epic adventures with them to others. If a person has earned my respect and has become someone that I call a friend, that is a truly special person. Everyone deserves to have friends like the ones I have had through the years, friends that will support you in your adventures and who won't laugh at you too much when you fall. I really wish I could pay tribute to everyone of them while they are around to see how much I appreciate them, but there are a few that slip past and for that I feel remorse.

I have lost many friends over the years and it doesn't get any easier. I have lost friends to accidental causes, from illness, from their own misadventures and one of the most difficult, at their own hand. I have chosen to no longer concern myself with to details of how someone left us and I try to just appreciate that I had the opportunity to know that person. A few years ago I found out that a friend was in very poor health and things were getting worse. After she reached a certain point she begin to talk to her mother, husband and doctor about it being time to go on and that she would like her pacemaker disconnected. It took a while but she was able to get everyone to agree and she went out with her pride intact. It was really difficult to accept that she would have made that choice but after much thought I have accepted that she made the decision to take control of her end of life situation and I can't say that it was wrong.

I have been trying to focus the last few years on being a better person than I was before. This is a very difficult challenge because I have had to learn how to remove the negative thoughts and emotions from my interactions with others. This is really difficult because I not only wear my emotions on my sleeve but I have the whole suit, there is never any mystery about what kind of mood I am in. I am trying to be more like those who have given me the best memories and to bring the best attitude to the adventure that I can. Sharing a positive experience with someone is one of the things that we hold on to for the longest, I want more of these memories. Having turned around a personal health crisis I now feel like I am able to do more than I have been able to for quite a while. This is motivating me to do the things I find most important and to share them with the people I enjoy having around me.

Treat all of those in your life as a legend. If you don't have an epic tale of adventures you and a friend have been on, don't put it off. The most important thing I have learned is that I get to choose the scale with which I measure everything. While I have met a lot of the musicians that I have idolized, they have taught me that everyone is of equal importance in this world. Because of this I have chosen to start everyone off much higher up the scale than I did in the past and I am very proud to say all of my friends are legends, maybe not to anyone else but they definitely are to me.

Campaign Pains

Well I have been trying my best to lay of on the politics for a while but there is something going on that has diminished to value of each persons vote. Our new law that allows the 501(c)(6) organizations collection money to be given as political donations without disclosure of the source of the money. This is allowing these organizations to also provide funding for candidates in various states which is allowing the big money groups to spend millions on a candidate that will agree to their agenda. Some of the organizations made up a template for TV commercials where they can easily drop in the local candidate and have a nicely produced commercial. This has become the biggest nightmare for democracy that has ever come forward and if we don't get some of the control back I fear where this will lead us.

Since the Supreme Court decided that it is appropriate to allow 501(c) organizations to accept large contributions from undisclosed entities which includes corporate interest. A 501(c) organization is a tax exempt organization classified by the type of groups that it supports. The classifications would be followed with a number to designate which groups. More information on 501(c). By allowing political campaign funding to be supplied without disclosure of the origin is allowing the campaigning to be skewed to favor those with money and greed as a motive. There is even suggestions that there is money coming from outside of our country that is being funneled into state level elections making it highly unfair for the competition. Our government has turned into a battle of which agenda gets the most money behind it seems to be what becomes our direction.


Recently I have made a few comments that suggest that they B movies from the 70s seems to be becoming reality. Rollerball had the setting that corporations had taken over the different countries and the competitors would skate for the corporation that would pay them the most. I also belief that the food that is affordable for the less affluent is rapidly approaching soylent orange, chicken nuggets in particular. A more recent movie that seems to also be prophecy is Idiocracy. Idiocracy begins by showing the educated, bright minds would have 1 child later in life while the uneducated, low income people were cranking out the children at an alarming pace. The premise is that the collective intelligence level was being bred out of our society. These movies seem to be more real than not these days.


We seem to be getting our lives slowly taken away from us of this legislation for pay program that is going on. I would be wrong if I said it was primarily on party because both parties are deeply involved in taking money from special interest. Too many people will allow their political decisions to be made based on what one person says about another rather than looking at the qualities of the people involved. Obviously integrity is not a requirement to hold public office and the masses seem to prefer someone who can stand there looking into the camera telling a totally fabricated story than someone who will actually represent the wishes of the citizens. The hens are letting the foxes into their house and laying down in front of them.


There are a couple of things that must change if we are going to continue to have the liberties that we have paid such a price to receive. 


One thing is the money is going to have to be removed from the politics. The television ads are non-productive and should be discontinued all together. Each election should be provided a fair and equal forum to present their agenda for public examination and not allow these nasty attack ads to be aired as often as the time slots can be purchased. 


Another suggestion I have would be to require candidates to be examined by an independent group of professional evaluators who will test their values, integrity and ethics, etc. The results or these examinations should be made available as part of the forum mentioned above so that while a person is studying the agenda of the candidate they can read their personality profile to determine who is most likely to do what they say.


I think if both of these concepts were implemented we would be able to have elections that didn't make us feel so slimy that we have to rush home to bath after voting. There are suggestions that we need more than 2 parties which would be nice as long as they money doesn't rule out the fairness of the campaigning. The current path we are on is not one that will allow us to continue for much longer. Our political environment keeps moving further and further to one side and there is no way to drag it back to where all of the people are being properly represented. The terms liberal, conservative, centrist, etc. all have very little meaning these days due to the fact that our legislation is influenced by money rather than an informed citizenry. This has to change before we lose the option to change it.

A Lonely Road

Today I have decided to take on a topic that is kind of difficult for me because I can't really hide behind twisted, cerebral babbling or dodge reality by spinning a little humor. The most difficult is that I have to be honest and reveal a little more of who I am than I normally do. I have decided to do this because it has been an overwhelming week that has made me take a serious look at the way I choose to live. In the last week I have had the best experiences of my life and at the same time I have had to acknowledge that the life I have constructed does not allow me to enjoy those feelings very often. This has caused me to reflect on how I got here and to contemplate where I am headed.

Perhaps this is a sequel to Living a Plan B Life or maybe it's just a snapshot of this moment in time. Either way I woke up this morning and turned on the TV while I gathered my thoughts and there was a movie on that reflected much of my life back to me. The movie was Up In the Air and I saw a lot of my life being played out there within a little abstraction. This was after a long night of realizing that while most of the time my choices have served me well by simplifying life to allow me to invest more time into exploring my mind, I realized that there are times that it would be nice to share a few memories with someone who was there. I have a long list of things I would like to do or see but I often tell my friends that I will not go until I can find the person to go with me that will get an equal amount of joy from the experience as myself. For me it's about sharing the experience more than just having it. Yesterday I decided to venture out alone and it left me a bit empty at the end of the day.

Yesterday I spend a full day driving through the country in search of the best place to take a picture of the evidence that autumn is in progress. I was driving through the mountains and enjoying the beauty that has been millions of years in the making, searching for the ultimate picture location. After several hours I did finally manage to take this picture which completed the objective I had set out with.

I was able to capture my evidence worthy of stopping to take the picture. I continued along the same road after taking the picture and saw some even more amazing sites but nothing worthy of stopping to photograph due to the amount of time it would take to get in the position to take the proper shot. I finally reached a place where I decided to turn around and return home. The drive home was around 4 hours long and the music I had enjoyed going up the mountain no longer made me smile. The sights coming down did not make me feel the wonder it had on the way up. The return home was a long, lonely road.

Over the last week and a half I have been allowed to visit my past and be reminded of a wonderful time when me and my old friends would get together and enjoy hanging out and sharing parts of our lives. This was such an amazing feeling because I have not had that connection for a very long time. The empowering feeling that can only come from those who you share a mutual admiration and have allowed each other past the surface of who we appear to be. The indescribable feeling that if you were about to fall that you were surrounded by people who wouldn't let you hit the ground, those who would hold you up with support to do the things you might otherwise abandon.

As I returned back to my current life, I return to the simple existence I have carved out for myself that allows me to dig deeply into my thoughts but has limited room for time for others. I frequently quote Francis Bacon with "He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief." Most of the time I am very content to enjoy my time without interruption and value the opportunity to indulge in the pursuits of my whims. The quiet time to think deeply and follow the thoughts to the end of their path. The freedom to spend an evening playing video games even.

I sit here reflecting on how I policy of not doing some kinds of things alone is probably one of my better ones. The long drive home yesterday would have been very little effort if I had taken someone along to share in the experience. It has caused me to admit to the number of times recently I have expressed my desire to share some of the things in my life. This is a challenge because there are parts of my life that I also choose not to share which limits the availability of having someone to share the parts I want to share. Today I am struggling with how to find a balance with my need to share and my selfish need to be alone. Today I am conflicted about the virtue of my choices.

I took many pictures yesterday and the largest quantity were taken out the window of my car at highway speed. I was able to get many great shots without having to stop along the way because I was on the quest to find the perfect shot for yesterday. If I would have had a companion on my trip I am sure there would have been many more stops along the way and it would have been a wonderful time. I also consider that if I would have had an companion along for the ride that I might not have made it to find the perfection that I did. There was sacrifice of companionship for the purpose of completing an objective but also for the purpose of knowing where to go when I choose to take a companion along for the next expedition. My experience yesterday has given me insight into things I know to share when I find a companion to explore these wonders.

Reading David Foster Wallace a lot lately, I like how he referred to an ex-girlfriend from high school who accompanied him to an even that he was writing about for Harpers magazine as his Native Companion. While she has her own life and family, she was his guide to the first day of the state fair he was covering. He had never been when he was a resident of the state and she was able to buffer is return to a world he had forgotten or ignored when he was there. I sometimes wonder which is better for exploration, a native who is already familiar or for both parties to be seeing things for the first time. Either way, one of the things I enjoy most in life is the look on another's face when we are participating in a new experience.

As one who has isolated myself in pursuit of artistic development through years of learning to play an instrument to the endless hours I strive to find words to express the thoughts swirling around in my mind I have always known the importance of sharing the fruits. I am also aware that you have to play to the audience you have and not the one you would wish for. Performing a master piece is a wasted affair when everyone is just wanting to dance. Taking pictures out of the window was my way of playing for the dance but I did take the time to pause for the photo that I spent a full day searching for. This is how I found my fulfillment in my expedition yesterday and how I have chosen to share was the picture of perfection will only be seen here while the rest will reside on Facebook. 

Meanwhile I will continue to be conflicted about how much of my time should be divided between the solo creative endeavors and how much I will devote to sharing with others. Finding myself chasing my thoughts through the playground of my mind while wondering which would even have any meaning to those around me. For today, you are my audience for this part I have chosen to share. It is my wish for you to see that my life is not without commitment even though the commitments that I have are not those considered traditional but the ones I treasure the most.  

Bass Guitar Collection

I have been promising for some time to show pictures of the collection and the time has come. These are the instruments I have collected and played over the years. Some of them have a lot of memories and some are extremely beautiful, all of them are very special for one reason or another. I hope you enjoy seeing them.





This was my first real bass guitar. It is a custom made 4 string Kramer Pioneer Carrera.
All black with ebony finger board, P/J pickup configuration and one of the sweetest playing and sweetest sounding basses I have ever heard. The jazz pickup is actually 2 that have a 3 way switch that allows single coil, humbucker or out of phase settings. This bass will always be my favorite. Purchased 1984.

  

 

This was my first 6 string bass that I got in 1988. It belonged to my good friend and mentor Steve Bailey. This is a custom Laravee (famous for acoustic guitars in Canada). This is a neck through body with ebony fingerboard and EMG active pickups. This bass was pearl white when I got it, another friend of mine wanted to paint a guitar he had that was damaged in an earthquake purple so... well there was a little left over when I finished the other one.

Dean 6 string bolt-on neck ebony fingerboard with EMG passive pickups. This bass is a very pretty transparent blue and I played this bass for quite a while. It was really cool because I got it brand new for $500 and it was totally playable, even for someone as picky as I am about how they are set up. I like this bass because if someone was to steal it at a gig I wouldn't be nearly as upset as I would some of the others (especially the Spector below). Purchased 1997.

This is a sweet bass that I adopted 2nd hand from the guitar center. It is a Tobias 4 string with rosewood fingerboard and a compound radius neck with Bartolini active pickups and concentric tone knobs. I rescued this bass from a life of dust collecting in the store and have become very attached to it because it is so much fun to play. It has a 24 fret fingerboard which gives it a lot of range for playing in the upper register.

Adopted 2006

This beautiful piece of wood is a hand crafted, custom 6 string custom Stuart Spector Design Ltd. U.S.A. fretless with active pickups including the piezo bridge pickup. I got this bass 2nd hand for about 1/4 the price of a new one but it was so well cared for that it was in new condition. I got this in 2007 and it is my first and only fretless bass. I was really surprised at how fast I was able to adapt to playing in tune, even after years of not playing. this is such a wonderful piece of wood, you can feel it's presence in the room when you walk in.

This is my most recent acquisition. This is a Fender 6 string Jazz bass Steve Bailey signature model. The friend that I took a few lessons from many years ago was finally able to get Fender to design his dream bass. He used to show me a 1966 Jazz bass he had that was worth a small fortune and when Fender approached him about a signature model he showed it to them and said make a 6 string just like this. It turned out to be quite the engineering feat by the time they finished it and I am very pleased with it being part of my collection. I got this one in 2009 because it was back ordered for a little over a year but well worth the wait.

This concludes the tour of my bass guitar collection as it stands today. There are some new additions that are in the works but I will keep those under wraps for now. I promise I will start spending more time playing each of them, the issue with the pain I as having in my hands and elbows seems to be gone so now I can return to playing and enjoying them. Thanks for coming by, leave me a comment or ask a question about them. I like to talk about them.

Photo Log of My Trip

The whole trip got started a while back when me and my friend Stephani connected on FB and decided that it had been too long since we had seen each other.

We met some time in the 80s through our friends that were in a rock band that we used to see regularly. I was going to originally go to visit her, and her mom Jacky, in Florida since they made a trip to visit me many years ago when I lived in California.

Stephanie to the left and Jackie below.







Stephanie was also planning a trip to visit family in Texas and decided to plan a couple of gatherings with some of the old group. I decided that would be great because I could also schedule a couple of more and be able to see a lot of people that I have not seen in varying measurements of time that extend past 20 years. So we decided to make it happen.







This is George who is one of my best friends who just happened to be responsible for me becoming a musician. Something like 27 years ago we met at a basketball game and he said "I play guitar and so does this guy, that guy over there plays drums with us but we need a bass player." I responded with "I will go pick one up on Friday when I get paid." George and I then spent a long time and had a few bands that were lots of fun. We played a lot of blues together and have many stories about our trek. George plays with several bands now and hosts a blues jam on Sunday nights so this one one definite item to schedule.








This is Dave who is also a guitar player that I played with on a few occasions (he is in costume for a band he plays with now, explanation below). Dave and I have such a great time because we laugh at some really abstract things that we have observed and I knew that I was going to have to see his new bad while I was on the trip. (I was so tired in this picture).

Metal Shop does all the 80s and 90s hair metal better than the original bands did it. They make you feel like you got into a time machine and landed in the spandex zone. More fun to watch their show than is legal in a few states, a must see if you are traveling through Texas.

Matt is a great guitar player I also had on the list to see when I was there so I was really lucky and he came out to the blues jam and we got to play together a little and talk a bit. Matt is playing with a few different acts that are all very close to being names you will recognize and he too has a wit that makes for endless laughter.

Wild Bill is another friend from days of long hair and loud music. He and I shared an appreciation for a few movies and were known to quote or even re-enact scenes from these movies when at a bar to see our friends play. Barfly was our favorite movie to mock. Many fun times we had.

Meet Lisa, she has always been a blast to be around. She is still making sure that everyone enjoys their nights out and get in the proper frame of mind to forget that autumn is just around the corner in more ways than one. One time I made a greeting on Lisa's answering machine in the character of a minister and gave a testimony of why the caller should leave a message. She said that she went 4 or 5 months before she got a message where someone quit laughing long enough to speak.

Jody is another person who is always able to make everyone enjoy their night out. Jody is a little quiet sometimes but she is one of the kindest people I think I know. We have known each other so long that I can't quite put a number on it. All of us think she knows where the fountain of youth is and not letting the rest of us in on the secret. She has always looked perfect and has been a great friend through the years

Kelli is the newest edition to my lovely collection of friends in Texas. Even though we just met on Saturday we immediately had much to talk about and noticed we share some odd habits like the use of lemon with ice tea (no details, you have guess). Kelli was granted full member status into the club with in a very short time and I will imagine she will be part of it for a very long time in the future. Neat person.

Kelli's son Nate plays drums so we had him come out to the blues jam and play a few songs with us. He is equally as charming as his mother and he is a very good drummer. I can see great things in his future.

So we got a lot of the old friends together and had a few laughs and talked about old times. If you think that is a good looking group now you should have seen us 20 years ago. One thing for sure, nothing means more than having friends that will be there when you get the chance to go back.

We played lots of music and had a wonderful time. This was great because I have really not played much in the last 10 years and I have lost a lot of my dexterity. I am still in a great deal of pain from having played for so long sans the callouses required to do so. It was such a great few days, the feeling of all the love we all have for each other and the encouragement for everyone to have a great time and express themselves was just incredible. 

After seeing everyone and catching up on each other's lives it was time to wave good bye to everyone. I have to say that Dave expresses how great I felt in this picture as I said my good byes. I got a little reminder of the life I used to have with the music career and how much respect and admiration that we all shared with each other and how it is all still there and even stronger because we have all been enough miles to understand how much it means to have this kind of friendship. It was so hard to leave on my return but I was so exhausted I had to get home and rest.

I have recently begun to appreciate the phrase "person of interest". All of these people qualify but they all so qualify as interesting people as well as people who are interested. The circle that binds our friendships happens to be a band. This is one of the greatest fan clubs to ever exist, each person is a fan of all the others. The greatest support system for a creative type in that we applaud each other for making that face while playing that note. It's all about the fun, having it, delivering it, sharing it. This was my vacation and will be used as a template for future trips.

P.S. Next time I will make stuff up about those of you that can't make it.

And with my favorite quote from Barfly -- "To all my friends"

Face First

While on my mini-vacation I had the most unusual experience that I am still a little confused about. I found myself on Sunday night simultaneously living my past, my present, and my future all at the same time briefly. I am sure there is some kind of wonderful meaning behind that experience but it allowed me to feel a kind of peace that I was unaware even existing. It was the kind of thing I can only describe as face first in that caution was not required in cranking the personality up all the way. Restraints not needed in avoidance of offending one a first opinion, face first and face to face. It's such a rare thing for me to feel so much in my element that I am totally comfortable letting everyone see me in the imperfect state that I am in without fear, shame or concern of the perceptions being formed. Face first could be defined as self-unconscious in a way. If only I could acquire this level of comfort more often, it has really opened me to some new creativity.

Vacation Time

Well, more like an extended weekend to go visit some friends from another life and to possibly get some fun pictures of me having a good time and not being in a foul mood (one can hope). I must say I'm finding it difficult to be a malcontent lately, complaining just doesn't sell when you are grinning like a possum. Not to worry though I'm sure I'll be primed for another rant in a few days. Who knows I might even branch out a little and blog about pleasant things in my life. Like the blind date I went on last night, it turned out to be a blast and we saw an incredible concert. Sheryl Crow has a new band and I was completely impressed with the new sound, they took a little of the clean, polite edge off and made it sound more convincing.

It's almost time for me to make my way to the airport, hopefully this flooding won't prevent my exodus from the east coast. I have found myself to be much more open to traveling these days than I was not too long ago. I think  I must be feeling better because I don't agonize for days over how long it will take me to recover from a trip. I still loathe sitting on an airplane wondering if I am going to catch something from the person next to me. I'm not really a germaphobe but I just hate getting coughed on as much as when someone is kicking the back of my seat.  Oops, I'm slipping in to malcontent mode again, I guess I will close for now and wish everyone a nice weekend while I am gone.

Sunday Drive

I spent a lovely afternoon driving the new car through the mountains to inspect the foliage for possible hints of the changing season. It was a day that required reaching way to the back of my CD collection for the Robin Trower "Bridge of Sighs" to get the appropriate mood to accompany the rain. I had fully intended to conjure up a seething rant about some of the recent events in the news but I had such a pleasant time in the mountains that I left my anger and bitterness on the side of the road next to an ancient oak tree that seems to have kept many bags of negativity for those who no longer needed it as they move on up the mountain. A little further along the way I decided it was time to listen to some music by a friend on mine that I haven't listened to in a while and got a little reminder of how much I enjoy some people. Then this song came on and I got a little reminder, I could explain it but I think it is better for you to watch the video can see what is says for you.

Victor Wooten - I Saw God

After a wonderful afternoon I returned home and was greeted at the door by my fabulous, furry, feline friend Spike. Apparently he did not like that I spent a whole afternoon out enjoying myself and leaving him at home with a food dish that you could see a small bit of the bottom where he thought should have been covered. To his surprise I did stop off an the Petsmart down the street and bought him not only more food but some treats and some of his favorite rabbit fur mice toys. He seemed to change moods rather quickly once we got the food issue resolved and then we spent the nest 45 minutes playing with the new toys. I get a lot of grief from giving my cat a dogs name but I have a cat that likes to play fetch so I think it is very fitting. He is now curled up in a snug pile of fur taking a brief nap so that he will be charged up and ready to play again during my prime sleeping time around 4:30 in the a of m. Now to watch new season premier of my favorite program East Bound & Down, the show is about someone like I pretend I would like to be sometimes. Probably best that I only pretend to think I would enjoy being that guy but I do enjoy watching the ego and narcissism of  epic proportions.

Preparing for travel and trying to sell my old car this week then it's off to Texas to visit some old friend I haven't seen in more years than I car to remember. I have also given the David Foster Wallace books a break and I am partaking in a little Hunter S. Thompson in the intermission. I have also been listening to "The Grand Design" by Stephen Hawking that I downloaded from Audible.com. Audio books are pretty good but the readers have some horrible timing when reading the bits of humor that are included (note to self: have someone with a pulse read anything you listen to). I have also found some free audio books that fall into the public domain so maybe I will learn how to listen after all these years. I thought people were must teasing me about not listening but if you ever want to test your listening ability, check out one of Stephen Hawking's books. Thanks to the gReader app on my phone I will be able to follow my favorite blogs while out of town but I will be focused on gathering new content rather than trying to post from my touch screen phone, if you have tried one you will understand. Unless I have an overwhelmingly obscene experience in the next 3 days I will let this post breath for the week and when I get back I will fill this blog up with exploits of my hyjinks while on travel. If there were characters in literature remotely as colorful as my old friends I would probably read a lot more books.

Rescinded Transcendence

I am forever doubting my maturity because I often choose to indulge that silly little boy that exists somewhere deep inside of what makes me that person I enjoy so much. I do find myself reasoning that I have followed a positive evolutionary trail which has levitated me to an elevation that allows me to view the problems of yesterday from the top. My bulging confidence and over-endowed ego will distract me into believing that I can invincibly proceed into any endeavor sans my wits. It's typically a brief interlude as the disturbing sound of the cock crowing just before the dawn of reality kicking me in most painful way. As the delusion washes away and the awareness of my lack of omnipotence bashes away at my pride in much the same way as a blindfolded child swinging at a pinata. The final whack against my esteem awakens me to remember that I am once again being foolish and that I should really utilize great though about my actions prior to pursuing them if I choose to avoid the gray clouds that form from the virtuous misadventures.

New Car Pictures

Honda CR-Z Sport Hybrid

Front View

After 5 long years of searching for what my next car would be, here it is. I'm looking forward to spending a little time driving again. The dealer claims that this car was only the 2nd of the color and model to arrive in the US so I kind of got lucky catching it as quickly as I did. I have a feeling the blue will become very popular in the future but the majority of colors are Black, White, and Silver. I suppose Red will be expected to be popular as well but this color seems to really work well for me.

I will definitely get the new car out this weekend and give it a few miles and hopefully I can take a few pictures of the country side. The leaves are starting to turn and all these trees will be looking fabulous pretty soon. Maybe getting out to see some nature will help inspire me to write a few more items that are worth reading.

Leave me a comment to let me know what you think of the new car.

Politics and Religion

Everyone's favorite 2 subjects to discuss as long as it is going the way that affirms their position. When in the minority it tends to be a much less enjoyable experience. I find myself in conflict with most at some point between the 2 subjects, or at least it sure feels that way. That is when I have these marvelous thoughts like how nice it would be if we could focus our discussions on what we have in common first then maybe, just maybe, it won't be so intense when we get to the things we disagree about. Unfortunately it seems that the amount of attachment to the outcomes that most people have makes this kind of difficult. I'm really kind of tired of talking to people who project the feeling that if you don't conform to their way of thinking they are going to smash you. Then again, I do kind of enjoy leading this type into the jungle and lead them around in circles for a while too.

The only time I really take issue with any of it is when a politician tries to persuade legislation to meet the religion they are trying to shove on people. To me that is offensive as someone telling people who can and who cannot do something based on some type of group that each are categorized as. I do understand that some degree of discrimination is required but I wish it could be limited to personal decisions like "this taste bad, I think I won't eat it." The world would be much more fun if so many people weren't so busy hating other people. I am a major malcontent and I find myself exhibiting some massive anger about some of the things that are happening but I really do try to leave the people out of it. Hopefully my rants and outrages serve the purpose to make our lives better.

Being election season I am finding myself way too absorbed in the political discourse where everyone is point at the other guys and saying those guys are going to ruin us rather than I see the path we should take to get out of this cave. I am truly amazed by some of the comments the politcos will make when nobody that is awake would possibly believe. It seems to be the American way to sling mud at your opponents. Civil discourse seems to be little more than a myth, at least that is something I can't remember seeing. We desperately need to have the dialog about political matters and it would make things better if we were more informed about the religions of others. I just fear it would end up in a brawl if we got the people who need to be there to show up.

Soon I hope to find something else to hold my attention so that I won't have to burn so much of my processing time trying to understand why one bunch wants to burn another's religious books or why one party wants to convince others that the party in power is some evil group that is out to take everyone's rights away. I miss the days when I had little else to occupy my mind than some mindless television program or planning what I'm going to do when I get a chance to go out and do something. I do feel a major rant about the current condition of movies and how disgusted we should all be by what is being presented at most venues, but that will be a couple of days. For the next few days I will likely remain immersed in following the conflicts that are piped into our living rooms in the form of cable news.

I enjoy hearing other people's opinions on many topics provided they do not present it in the way that a used car salesman shows you a car. I have a well functioning brain, well at least I think so and won't try to convince any of you that it's not defective, and I like to form my own opinions. I don't appreciate someone trying to convincing me that their church has the only path to a happy eternity and I am really annoyed by someone that says we can get out of debt by cutting taxes and hiring a bunch of people to keep our borders from someone crossing over without their appropriate papers. I'm especially disgusted by the bible touting, baby talking, mother types that think their hyper conservative views are going to keep our society moving into the future. I think my head is going to explode if this doesn't decrease soon.

My proposal is that we try to play nice and be tolerant with those who are civil and perhaps ignore those who are hording the toys in the sandbox. I try to be nice as much as I can between rants so I will close with leave me a comment to let me know what is on your mind and have a nice day.

Heavy Thoughts

Today is a day of heavy thoughts for me. Nine years ago today we had the terrorist attack which had quite an impact on me because of someone close being near one of the areas hit and was not able to get out of the area for several hours. There has also been some unsettling communication between family members today that has reduced the elevation of my brow a slight bit. Strangely enough I find myself drifting back to my thoughts about literary theory. I have been experimenting with several thing lately and I find it kind of amusing how much is missed by those who read really fast and take things for surface value. I have had kind of a theme going this week about questioning everything and I can't seem to get away from it.

The biggest questions of literary theory that have been on my mind lately are 1. who is the author writing for? and 2. what is the reader expecting from reading? Both of these questions can get very complex and can lead to heavy philosophical questions like is the author responsible for the readers well being and understanding. This opens up a lot of opportunities for me to explore some things that I would never considered otherwise. I have found that I am capable of presenting an convincing argument that I personally do not believe or having any real interest in because I have relieved myself of feeling responsible for the reader for a couple of things I have done. In doing so it has allowed me to add a 2nd level of communication somewhat embedded in the writing which turns out to be an interesting tool.

Misdirecting a reader with some heavy surface level thoughts, for example, allows the author to communicate some things that would typically make the readers mood go in a negative direction. If the author is then able to subtly inject some humor to lighten that mood a little, the reader should be less acutely activated by the piece. A little sugar to offset the taste of the medicine so to speak. This technique can also be used for the author to play pranks on the reader by making several suggestions of one reality only to remove the attachment to the belief that it might exist. This brings us back to the topic of this weeks theme, question information that is given to you.

I have made several disclaimers on this side about the fact that I do not assume responsibility for the accuracy in my comments or that I would even be representing my personal feelings or beliefs in these comments. Do I lie? Not when asked directly my opinion on something. Do I stretch the truth and exaggerate? By all means when I am writing something that I post here it has been "dramatized" for entertainment purposes. Which should make you ask is it for the entertainment of the writer or the reader, that is if you are following the theme of question everything. This authors intentions for the reader are to invoke a deeper thinking process, there is no malice behind any pranks or humor. I am a day dreamer and I hope to be able to take a few people to a similar place briefly.

My obsession with presenting multiple layers of a reality comes from my background in math, physics and engineering. The point of perspective can drastically alter what the observer is witness to. This has led to many false assumptions in science as well as in interpersonal relationships. Example only hearing half of a conversation someone is having on a phone, you only hear what is said by the person you are close to and have to rely on their ability to inform you of what else was said. Even if you later ask the person who was on the other end of the call, you have to rely on that person to relay what was said so there is not clear proof of exactly what was being said. My obsession does have a purpose for which my writings are leading to as time permits, a larger writing project.

I have considered writing a novel, which is something I might so at some point, but have decided that I can not spare the time to get that deep into my thoughts right now since I have other things going on like a job and such. I have also considered writing and educational item that explains the though process needed to solve highly complex problems without having to understand every detail, a guide to systems engineering. While that would be a wonderful time for me to get deeply into "how to" mode I have decided to let that rest a little longer too. That kind of leaves me with what I have been doing lately which is writing short pieces to attempt to evoke an emotion with whoever takes the time to read it. I like to day dream, especially while typing.

My recent trip to visit family allowed me to take part in an interesting conversation. We were sitting at the table going through a few of my dads personal items he left when he passed. There was a little reminder of how much of him is embedded in who I am. My nephew's girlfriend was sitting there with us and I'm not sure where it started but I went into an extended explanation of some kind followed my my mom telling the newest person to the situation that my dad would make up something and it could be so convincing that people would believe it for years and that he actually had no idea about the topic and was just having some fun. Yes I am guilty of this too. It comes from the concept of if a person is not willing to validate what they have been told then they deserve to believe it as it was told. Like I said earlier, there is no malice involved just the recommendation that you should validate what you think from time to time.

I am a huge fan of conspiracy theories because they are so much fun to pretend you believe them sometimes. I really enjoy trying to make a series of coincidences line up to seem like some kind of cosmic miracle. I like reading through the exhaustive efforts some people have gone to in order to propose something with a vague possibility at best. It is all great fun but when it comes to reality I have to laugh at most of these stories and accept them as entertainment. This bring forward the final question for today which has to do with how the reader reacts to something they read.

What if I was really motivated to take action because of something I read only to find out later that is was just somebody making stuff up? This brings us to the most critical of the questioning everything theme. Every person should take a little time to validate the source of their motivations. The more acute the desire for action the more important it is to understand where that desire is coming from, much avoid lynching when possible. My response is that if it is motivation to do something positive it doesn't matter if it was real or made up, use that motivation to do something good. The only way we can control our growth as individuals is to understand where we are and then carefully plan the best direction to proceed and to try not to just let things happen to us because we didn't want to take the time to think about what is going on around us.

The High Cost of Learning

Learning is not free, there is always some type of expense involve with learning. My college degree left me with a debt the equivalent value of a very nice full sized car. Some of the more important lessons I have learned were at the expense of losing or breaking something that was important at the time. Even as a child, I attended a public school which was funded by the property taxes from the county the schools was in. In the age of information, it would seem that the cost of learning would be on the decline. Even though it may appear to be free, they highest cost of learning is the lose of innocence. As I write this, I am cognitive of my attempts to get you to surrender some of your innocence and hope that you feel the exchange was worthy of the cost.

Supposedly one of the attributes of my personality that is the source of a mild charm according to those who have been fond of me for many years is my ability to cast doubt about the sincerity vs. sarcasm of anything I say. While I delight in being surrounded by the self-conflicted, my true motive is persuade my companions to not be stuck painting a fence whilst others are off fishing. I will admit that it is very difficult to get me to vocalize much in my communications but I do feel that when I do write I make up for a lifetime of silence. If my writing was a conversation at the pub I'm sure I would be the lonely guy babbling about things that require too much for most to wrap there minds around. On the occasion that I find myself with a captive audience, I do typically get thanks for having distilled a complexity into the simplicity that is easily digested.

This is the part where I begin to make a play to convince you to release your grip on your innocence. I find myself writing about M-Theory quite frequently and I realize that not everyone understands what it is. M-Theory, originally called string theory, suggest that when the universe is defined in terms of how the most minute particles interact with each other that it has the characteristics of a string when converted into an equation. It has since been described as more of a membrane than a string hence M is for membrane. I will spare you the details from a mathematics stand point and try instead to make an illustration of what this theory translates into. Although I could really enjoy spending a couple of months digging into the math because of the mental vigor that would result but I digress.

What does this membrane have to do with anything? Well the membrane is an invisible force that connects everything together from the tiniest sub-particle level. Yes, the universe can be looked at as a single item that is made up of an inter-connected collection of pieces that are used to form everything that exist. That means that you, I, and everyone else are connected with one another in the cosmic sense. I'm going to go a little further and let you know that we are also connected to everything else whether living beings, rocks, water, and a long list of things that we cannot even see. When you look at how connected everything is from this stand point, there are a lot of implications that everyone should take to heart.

Our connection to each other and everything would make a thinking person consider their actions and how they impact everything else. Projecting kindness and consideration would be how you hope that all of these other things we are connected with would be toward us so probably in the best interest of all to project kindness and consideration to all others. Yes I am saying don't throw a rock at a tree out of anger. When we consider that membrane that connects all of everything together in terms of Karma, if I act in anger or with malice toward something, throwing a rock at a tree, then it would be a fair return for me to get stung by a hornet to restore the balance within the membrane. The concept of the membrane really re-enforces the morals of the stories that we all heard as children.

I will be the first to admit that the number of books I have read in my life would total to a number less than my age. I have however gotten a great deal of mileage out of the books that I have read due to the intense philosophy associated with the books. Several years ago I was asked to perform some brief bits of music between sessions at a conference at which I met the author of a book which presented scientific evidence that prayer does have an effect on the outcomes. The author was a doctor who kept records on several hundred patients and how they fared and if their family would gather an pray or not. Along about the same time I read this book I was also grazing through many volumes of Carlos Casteneda's tales of shamanism he learned from an ancient tradition of Mayan origin. The membrane allows my mind to combine the information from both books into a related subject that is also congruent with the bible as well as the original telling through the story of Gilgamesh.

All the lessons point to how our interaction with each other and our environment, our universe, we could be very mindful of not only our actions but our thoughts as well. I have reviewed a fair amount of science related to metaphysical topics and have to say that the membrane concept helps explain psychic abilities in a much less scary way. The membrane theory seems to provide a level of comfort to me that I have never been able get through religion. I say this because it provides an explanation of how the collection of sub-particles that connect us all make it possible for me to see that we can exist for an eternity even though there will be some transformation of form at some point. Does this concept make me turn my head from religion? Not in the least because if someone has the capacity to be open minded enough to look for the relation you find that the best guides to being a contributer to the universe is taught through religions.

I did read most of a book by the Dalai Lama and I found his message and his attitude to be one of the most progressive of any I have encountered. It says rather directly that he is not sharing the teachings in an effort to recruit or convert people. He is sharing the ancient teachings in hopes that others can find a way to integrate the best parts into their own religion and spirituality. His philosophy is one of the best to show how it is possible to let everything freely flow together and we can still maintain peace. It also shows how not just the actions but the thoughts of hate and anger not only effect us as individuals but it has an impact on all of everything due to the way the membrane connects the universe. To me this gives me a major incentive to try really hard to banish the feelings of anger and hatred that seem to crop up every few minutes.

This is the point that I will ask you to take a deep breath and rest your eyes for a second then review some of the disclaimers I have posted around my blog, especially the frequently asked questions. Go ahead, I'll wait. OK, now that you are back lets see if we can wrap this up. What I have illustrated here is that in questioning everything you can see more than negatives in the answers. People assume that to question something will lead to negation. I propose that questing the information that is presented to you can also illuminate some extremely positive ideas as well. Yes I am a daydreamer and I have little concern for reality when I don't have to. I enjoy swimming in the ocean of my imagination and becoming immersed the potential for things considered impossible. Later I am able to synthesize some of these thoughts into usable tidbits within reality even though they sometimes seem a little outside of the realm of normal.

This is the point that I reward you for having chosen to surrender a little of the innocence you might have given up. While there is no way to prove of disprove a lot of what I have suggested and I am in no way suggesting that anyone believe what I have said in the preceding paragraphs. In my assuming the role of the teacher my motive was to provide you the pupil with an abstraction that will allow you to take away a much deeper message than what was presented on the surface. Take some time and let your mind sort through some of the possibilities that exist within your own mind. Take my conclusion for this piece as you are in control of your thoughts and actions, approach them as if everything you do and everything you think has an impact on the entire universe and you will find the importance to make the effort to do a little better each day. You can relax now.

Collective Selectiveness

I am truly impressed by the resolve of the masses to accept something as truth even though they have been show significant evidence to the contrary. It seems that over the last 10 years that any thing one says can be considered the facts if they repeat if enough times and then get 2 or 3 others to repeat it. This is not exactly new to the nature of humans. It has, however, gotten to a point that makes my stomach turn. What is the motivation for altering the truth? More times than not it about greed or lust. To what ends people will go for self-gain deserves a little thought.

If a couple of brothers inherited several billion dollars and still don't have enough, they would like spend most of their time either trying to make more or trying to hang onto as much as possible. Unlike Warren Buffet, who buys a business that is doing good and let's it keep on doing what it does best, some of these billionaire types would rather spend money perpetuating lies and meddling in politics. Convincing those who will blindly follow the craziest of ideas that a health care plan is going to lead us to genocide or that our elected leader is of an origin and religion that he is not. I like a good conspiracy theory as much as anyone, but at least try to use an occasional fact or two in you pitch.

Falsifications seem to be coming from all directions lately, fueling the hate and mistrust that has been growing like a fungus for longer than I have existed. Throughout history there have been many examples that have served as a tutorial for the current mayhem. End of the world theology happens to be a favorite of mine. I find it very amusing how many times a religious fanatic will convince the flock that on some day in the near future the world will end so they should surrender their worldly possessions and gather around for the mass suicide. The inability for individuals to think for themselves astounds me.

One of the recent usages of untruth stems from some horrid greed. This is a little tricky to find the correct starting point but I will pick the privatization of government functions has lead to some of the worst deception I can think of. Privatization of various institutions and prisons have lead to some of the most evil motivations to lie that once can imagine. One contractor running the prisons in Arizona that has ties to the governor of that state has worked out a plan that if they are able to arrest more illegal immigrants then he will collect more government dollars for processing them for a profit. This has lead to numerous scare tactics about drug related beheading activities in the desert that have never happened. This has turned a large part of the population against a group of people that are so poor they are willing to risk everything to try to provide for their families.

Other types of long term stay facilities for the treatment and care for people with mental challenges that have been being transitioned from state run to private for profit run have some really sad stories as well. People being medicated to a point that they are in "cold storage" and don't require a lot of maintenance. Others being used as unpaid labor while their care is being sponsored bringing an extra cha-ching for the handlers. The neglect and abuse that results from underpaid staff at these facilities is really the worst crime imaginable. All of these things are happening while the public is being told that the people are receiving the highest quality are that can be afforded.

Book burnings are always a big party, almost as much as protesting doctors who provide treatments that some see as a sin. Where they find these mindless, line dancing idiots that will act out against something they don't understand mystifies me. I'm pretty sure if someone was to ask the attendees of a book burning how many of them had actually read and understood the book they were burning it would a very small number who had and the rest would be taking someones word for the contents being evil in nature. It is like there is a fear of education or individualism that has infected part of that population to the point that if a parrot said "I am God." they would start praying to the parrot.

Religions have a long history of claiming the only path to righteousness and suggesting all others will lead to damnation. These fall under a unique category because they require the follower to first believe that is a creator or supreme being that is responsible for everything just because until recently nobody has been able to explain our existence without the magical plot devise we call God. I have to tip my hat to Stephen Hawkings for having the bravery for claiming that the M-Theory has removed the need for a creator to explain our existence. I'm sure his latest book will reach 451 degrees in many neighborhoods for that one. I can understand how the average person would not have the desire to validate these concepts because it takes years for the best mathematicians to reach a point where they can follow along. The proof is there if one is ready to take on that challenge otherwise the topic will require believing someone without first hand knowledge.

The complexities of interaction within our society will forever be polarized between those who believe and those who question. The believers have created the collective selectiveness by choosing what they believe or disbelieve and are convicted to these beliefs. The questioners may still believe most of the best story going but they will try to sort out a few facts. I think that our society probably needs both camps to make a balance with believers taking to each extreme and the questioners trying to find a common ground for them. Democracy is a slow process and does not always lead in the right direction at first but it is so accurate in the way it projects the public opinions on just about every topic. If the physicist have found an equation to explain it all they are doomed because most people can't grasp algebra. M-Theory save us.